Page 51 of Once Upon a Demon's Heart
Guilt is a burdensome thing. It rots my insides and makes me sick for what I thought of them… and for what I did in servitude to Alzhor.
“What did you think when you laid eyes on Alzhor?” I watch him as he crosses the room to his nightstand.
He pauses for a moment. “Comatose, almost like a place lost in time.” His amber eyes flick back to me. My lips press together. He’s not wrong.
Kalel unbuttons his shirt and lets it fall to the ground before walking past me. “You may do as you please, but don’t leave the room,” he says as he steps into the bathroom and shuts the door. The water runs for his bath, and I don’t move until I hear him sink into the water and sigh as the hot water surely soothes his muscles.
I’m the only monster in this kingdom.I think as I look around once more, shrinking into myself and wishing our fates could be rewritten.
I grab the extra throw blanket on top of his bed and slip out onto the balcony. The night is a bit chilly, but relatively warm compared to outside the veil. I’m still in awe at the magic that the veil adds to the kingdom. I wrap myself in the thin blanket and curl against the stone railing, letting my eyes slowly close to the sound of somber nightingales and the ache in my chest.
Chapter Nineteen
KALEL
I leavethe towel over my head as I exit the bathroom. When I don’t initially see her in my chambers, a bolt of panic surges through me. Did she leave? I look over to the balcony and find her bundled up on the ground with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.
My muscles relax, and I stare at her form for a moment.Of course, she chooses to sleep out there like a masochist.I grin, drowsily amused with her.
I step outside quietly. She doesn’t stir, so I assume she’s sleeping. I crouch beside her and gaze down at her face. The little godling’s hair is like starlight, lashes as dark as raven’s blood. She’s the most beautiful creature to have ever walked these halls.
I reach out and let my fingertips brush delicately across her forehead, sweeping away strands of hair. Warmth and a curling sensation in my stomach frequently accompany her presence. As much as I want to hate her, she’s slowly thawing my resolve. I long to hold her. To tell her of her beauty and how it haunts my every thought.
I cannot allow myself to care for something like her, though. Not when she’s taken so much from me. I bite into my lower lip, tasting the bitterness of my blood.
But…
She could’ve fled tonight. She could’ve used the dragons to destroy all of us out there. I saw the thought flash through her eyes. Then I watched as she quickly discarded it.
She chose to stay.She chose me. And for some reason, that dug a knife into my heart.
Does she truly wish to make this peace agreement work? If King Borlin learns that the dragons aided her, he will surely go back on his word and try to eradicate us again. To him, we have no place here in Faultore. What would be next? The mortals? It’s enough to make me sick.
Nik was right, she is different.
I ponder these thoughts as I gaze down at her soft lips and worried expression as dreams cloud her mind. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met.
Perhaps… she is not as evil as I believed her to be.
What a strange godling.
I scoop my hands under her and carry her back inside. She blinks groggily up at me before closing her eyes and burying her face into my chest.
That draws a torn grin to my lips.Foolish girl.She shouldn’t trust me so thoughtlessly.
I toss back the covers on my bed and set her down. I have to work to get the throw blanket out of her grasp, but she eventually lets it go. I grab the night gown that my maids set in here for her arrival and carefully undress her before slipping the dress over her. She mumbles and shifts in the bed.
With a moment to finally breathe without hundreds of my soldiers around, I bow my head and drag my hand down my face. I put on a strong appearance to everyone, but I’m only a man, and I’m far from holding my shit together.
I’m so close to breaking. To caving into this savage yearning that pulls at my heart to let everything go that isn’t her.
I shut my eyes.I need to hold it together.
Thank gods we are back in Devicit. It’s been over a year since I’ve slept in this bed. I didn’t plan on having a bride to bring back and share it with, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t grown fond of having her near. Her soft breaths are like a song that fills where silence used to lie heavily beside me.
It’s odd how you don’t realize the loneliness in your soul until you meet someone who stubbornly plants it there.
I let the towel on my head fall to the floor before slipping into the sheets and pulling her close against my body until her back meets my chest. I’m too hungry to sleep. I haven’t fed in three days since the bloodletting.
