Page 57 of Once Upon a Demon's Heart
Chapter Twenty-One
ALIRA
Kalel remembered me.
I suck in my lower lip and try looking away to hide the heavy tears that fall. He catches my chin and tilts my jaw toward him, forcing me to look into his eyes. His arm is in the water, but he doesn’t lend any care to it.
“Why do you cry?” he asks, bringing his lips close to mine. “Is it because you know you’re the root cause of all my suffering? Of all my pain?”
“Kalel… I was only trying to help you. I didn’t know they were going to do that.” A sob breaks from my chest. “Please. Please forgive me.”
His eyes are empty. “Forgiveness?” He leans forward and kisses me softly before releasing my chin, standing and staring down at me. “Perhaps in another life I could have forgiven you. Perhaps even cared for you. But my heart is dead, little godling, it died the night you found me in that forest.”
Kalel takes a deep breath before he firms his resolve and leaves the bathroom, calling out before he exits the chambers, “Nikolai will be here to attend to you shortly.” The door clicks behind him.
And I break into a million pieces.
Nikolai healswhat little imperfections remain from the injury quickly. “Gods, one day without an injury to heal on you is all I ask,” he grumbles in a light tone and shoots me a playful grin, but I can't bring myself to smile. My eyes are red and feel heavy.
He lets out a defeated sigh. “You know, my dad used to tell me that the best things come after having bad luck.” I look up at him as he grabs a comb from the nightstand and kneels before me. Those honey brown eyes warm as he brushes my damp hair. He looks at me like I’m a precious jewel, like I’ve never taken from him when I know that's not true.
“I know many who have terrible luck and have never had anything good happen after.” My tone is sour. I can’t stop thinking of Kalel. All I want to do right now is talk to him. There’s so much I want to tell him. I want him to know that I thought of him often too.
Nikolai chuckles, steadily gliding the brush through my silver hair. “My dad also told me that if you focus on only the bad things, you’ll miss every opportunity that comes your way.”
“Like what?”
He shifts his focus from my hair to my eyes. “For example, I suffered when Thornhall fell, and I’m not saying that it doesn’t hurt or makes me want to turn vengeful, because it definitely did. But I saw the chance to aid Kalel’s forces and took it. I saw the opportunity to talk to the captive half-god and see if they are truly evil and filled with malice. And you weren’t. You were oddly like me. I was able to make a new friend and meet someone I never thought I would. I was able to aid in bringing peace to our lands. A future with harmony.” He hums and closeshis eyes with a smile. “That’s the best future I can picture, don’t you agree?”
Nikolai is the kind of man who could fill your head with a thousand dreams. The best kind of person someone like me could ask for.
I nod. “That’s the future I want too.”
He grins. “I know,” he says a little too surely. Nikolai stands and grabs the bags of clothes he brought in with him. “Which is why you need to start looking for the good things. No matter how small. We can start with the fact that Tessa ran all over the kingdom this morning to get this dress for you. So, you’re not allowed to cry on it, okay?” He holds up a cloth bag that must have a dress in it. I give him a quizzical look. “For your wedding this evening, Alira.”
I stare at him blankly.This evening?
It seems awfully cruel that this entire time, all I wanted was to escape the time loop and to save the demigods. Selfishly, I think the only thing I wanted to do was to live. So why did it have to be me who marries the Blood Knight? Why not an innocent demigod princess? Or a lovely maiden with unstained hands like mine…Why did it have to be me?
The one girl who is the cause of all his suffering.
He must have been hurting so much this entire time.
My lips press together tightly. The worst of his scars were my fault. Is this why the gods punished me? Why I was slain twenty times at his hands?
“What did I just say?” Nikolai takes the bag away from me and sets it on the bed.
“I’m sorry, I just…” More tears well in my eyes and crash to the ground.
He sits next to me and pulls me into a tight hug. My eyes snap open, and a breath escapes as Nikolai embraces me. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. Fate has a way of stringingus along sometimes, but you must trust your path,” he murmurs as he caresses the back of my head with his hand. “Apologies for invading your thoughts,” he adds, not seeming sorry at all.
He’s a mind reader?I didn’t know that demons had them. Mind readers are far and few between in Alzhor. I can’t find the energy to be upset with him when he’s so kind to me, though.
I sink to my knees on the floor and melt into his arms. Nikolai’s minty-bark scent invades my senses, bringing that calm, tender feeling that always accompanies him.
“Itismy fault. I… I wish I had never found him that day.”
I pull back and lift my face to look into Nikolai’s eyes. Gentle, understanding pools of honey greet me. His gaze shifts to my lips for a moment before he lowers his head and shuts his eyes, setting his forehead against mine.
