Page 26 of A Bond of Ice and Glass
I take another drink and savour the sharp taste. Although it helps settle my nausea, it doesn’t soothe the pain behind my eyes. Or the way my body trembles, heavy and drained, like something’s been carved out of it.
“I just didn’t know he could be like that,” I whisper, more to myself than anyone. “I’ve never seen Lochlan act cruel before. Like he was… enjoying it.”
I glance at Noble. His jaw tightens as he looks away into the flames.
“Seeing your own people suffer changes you. For Lochlan, coming home and witnessing the pain our people went through… He’s vowed to do whatever it takes to avenge them.”
I take one long sip, finishing the drink. “Do you really believe that?”
He looks back at me, his eyes glowing in the firelight. “I want to.”
I nod and watch the fire dance against my glass. Noble falls quiet too. The odd crackle from the fire, the wind whispering against the stone windows… It’s strangely relaxing. Or maybe the alcohol is starting to have an effect on me.
Either way, I welcome it. I need it.
“You alright?” Noble asks, jolting me from my thoughts.
I glance at him—at eyes so like Lochlan’s yet so different.
“No,” I answer honestly. “Since coming here, I feel like something is missing from me. Like there’s this cold, empty space inside that nothing seems to fill. Not even this power, or whatever it is the gods have cursed me with. I should besohappy to be free again. But I can’t help but feel there’s something wrong. All I seem to do is sleep and forget things.”
Noble doesn’t say anything at first. He finishes his drink and sets the glass on the table, then crosses a leg over his knee, his ringed hand placed on top of it. A ring with a dragon on it that looks familiar to me but I can’t place.
“You’ve been through a lot,” he says finally. “Lost more than most do in a lifetime. But grief doesn’t follow rules. Neither does power. Sometimes they hit us when we’re least ready, and it feels like we’re about to crack under the pressure. But the gods don’t give us more than we can handle. My mother used to say that to me. Figured there’s gotta be some truth to it.”
I rest my head against the sofa and look up at the painted ceiling. Noble’s arm presses against me, close enough that I can still smell the dungeon stench clinging to his skin.
“Do you think that’s why they gave me to Erax?” I ask, voice above a whisper. “To break me?”
In the corner of my eye, Noble looks away from the fire, at me. He watches me for a moment before answering.
“I think the gods brought you together to change you both.”
I trace the stag on the ceiling, grazing in a field. The leaves attached to its magnificent horns gleam gold in the light.
“I didn’t need to be changed,” I say, my eyes burning. “I needed what Erax took from me.”
My family. My home. My kingdom.
Noble looks away again, focusing on the flames. He keeps his eyes fixed there even when he speaks.
“I grew up in Erax’s home. My father sent me to live there as a gesture of loyalty. A political asset to bridge the gap between our families. He always wanted the dragonmeyers on our side. I was just a boy, and I hated it. Hated Erax.”
“But you stayed?”
“I had to. Our people would’ve suffered if I tried to leave. It was only recently, before my father died, I was able to come home. The irony is that my father got what he wanted, but our people suffered anyway.”
He gives a hollow laugh, but I can hear the pain in it. Feel the agony over his people’s suffering. He carries the pain so differently from his brother.
“Erax was never cruel the way you think. Not at first. He was distant. Disciplined. He hated weakness, in others and in himself. But he had honour, once. Somewhere along the way, he lost it.”
“What happened?” I ask, closing my eyes for a moment.
“I don’t know. But whatever it was… it broke something in him.”
When I open my eyes again, my head still pressed against the sofa, Noble is already looking at me.
“It was only recently I got to see some of those pieces fall back together,” he says, and the intensity in his gaze makes me sit up again.
