Page 3 of A Bond of Ice and Glass
“The healer said I’ll be fine soon,” I tell him.
He nods, the muscles in his jaw twitching. “Finally.”
Lochlan practically spits the word out.
“Loch, what happened? Where are we? I was in the cart with you, and then—I don’t remember how I got here. Did we manage to escape?”
He moves his hand to my cheek in a caress. A sudden urge to pull away slams into me, but I ignore it, forcing myself to remain perfectly still. He’s just worried about me. He breathes a low sigh before nodding, his hand falling in his lap.
“Erax took you from the cart and dragged you away with him. I couldn’t stop him.” Lochlan’s entire face pales, as if all the blood has drawn away from it. “He forced you to marry him, Lena. He made you his queen.”
The words slam against me like a blow, driving all the air out from my lungs.
“M-married?”
Lochlan nods once. “In a way, I’m glad you don’t remember. What he did to you…” He shakes his head and swallows hard, as if trying to dislodge something stuck in his throat. “I will kill him for all the things he did to you.”
Sickness rises in my own throat. Erax, the Dragon King who killed my parents, destroyed my home, and imprisoned me in the convent, finally managed to marry me. Not only that, but he clearly did horrific things to me for Lochlan to want his blood. Sweet Lochlan who never hurt anyone. I’m glad I don’t remember. Could it explain why I’ve forgotten everything? Like my mind has completely blocked everything out in order to protect me?
My hands clench the sheets, my nails digging through the thin material. The bastard! I shouldn’t expect any less from a monster like him. Erax took everything from me the day he became king and stole my father’s crown. That I remember.
That I will never forget.
“I’m sorry it took me a while to get you out,” Loch says, drawing my focus back to him. “Unfortunately, you were hurt by him so badly I thought you might die. We had to use magic to make you feel better, and losing your short-term memories is a side effect. It doesn’t matter, because you’re alive and safe withme now. The witches have been very helpful, and they want the king dead just as much as we do.”
Yes. We should want him dead… and yet, why does that make my stomach hurt?
“All hail the supposedly dead queen.” Nymala’s voice drips with sarcasm. “She won’t die. Can I go now? Or do I need to ask your brother?”
“Brother?” I echo as Loch slides Nymala a cold glare. “You never told me you had a brother.”
“Leave, Nym.” Lochlan’s sharp, icy tone is unlike anything I’ve heard from him before. It softens when he speaks to me.
Meanwhile, Nymala shrugs and leaves the room, the door closing behind her.
“My brother’s name is Noble. We have the same mother. After she died, I was sent to the convent. I guess my step-father didn’t want his dead wife’s bastard hanging around anymore. My mother died soon after I left. Then my step-father a few years after that. Noble inherited the estate and title. This fortress. He became close friends with Erax so he could plan a way to bring him down.” He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. There’s something cold about it that makes me catch my breath. “Noble watched out for you in that castle. For that, I’m grateful. You can trust him.”
“But I don’t remember him. I don’t remember meeting the king either. I’m really married?”
I look at my hand, expecting to see a ring. There’s nothing. Not even a dent where the ring should’ve been.
“Lena…” Loch tips my chin up with his gloved hand. “Look, we’re in what’s left of The Drifting Kingdom now. There’s so much you need to know. We’re finally united against Erax and his dragons. The witches have sided with us, and an army is behind my brother, too. The bastard Erax won’t be able to getto you in here. You’re finally free, just like we spoke about. Dreamed about. Remember?”
I just manage to stop from shaking my head. There’s too much that I don’t remember, but the part about freedom… that I do remember us talking about, dreaming about, like he said. Tears prick my eyes at the thought of never having to see the sisters again or be subjected to their torment.
I’m free, but why does it feel so… wrong?
My heart clenches as panic creeps over me. “We’re free, but for how long? Erax has a horde of dragons and riders behind him. He can get anywhere, Loch.”
Lochlan smiles. “Not here.” There’s an unmistakable pride in his voice when he says that. “This has all been set up, ready for you. You’ve been sleeping for two weeks, and the healer said you’re not pregnant, which is a blessing considering everything.”
My heart sinks to my stomach, and I feel my cheeks flushing with heat. I hadsexwith the Dragon King? I suppose we would’ve had to consummate the marriage, but I don’t remember my first time having sex… or him at all. While I’m relieved not to be pregnant, the knowledge of what happened to me—and not remembering any of it—is daunting. It’s like an empty void in my mind where all the memories should be.
“You’ll be safe with me,” Lochlan says, touching my cheek again, lingering for a moment before pulling away. “With Noble, too. We’ll lead the war on your behalf, and once we win, you can choose which one of us you want to rule with.” He winks at me, not noticing the way I dig my fingers into the sheets again. He keeps smiling, his face almost… hopeful looking. It makes my stomach ache. “I promised to look after you, remember? Everything is going to be as it should from now on. So just rest and sleep off the fever. We’ll be waiting for you when you’re well again.”
He lifts my hand and once more kisses it softly. His lips feel cold and wet, nothing like I thought it would feel like. Why doesn’t this excite me? I’ve dreamt of Lochlan choosing me for years, and now that it feels like it could be real, it means nothing.
“I love you, Lena. I should’ve screamed it from the rooftops when I had the chance. I wasalwaysin love with you. It was always you for me. But when Erax took you, I knew that I messed up. I should’ve got you out there sooner,donesomething sooner. Look, I know it’s too much for you right now. You’re still recovering. You’ve got amnesia. You’re obviously not feeling well. We can talk more later, but don’t ever doubt for a second how I feel about you, Lena. I’ll always feel this way about you.”
