Page 35 of A Bond of Ice and Glass
There’s light rain dripping onto one of my cheeks as I slowly wake.
The water is softly dripping down on my cracked lips, and it tastes like salt. I focus on the rain, on the gentle but steady patter as I try to remember what happened. I’m pressed up against someone warm. Their warmth is keeping me still and steady. They feel like they’re almost on fire, and I can hear a heartbeat underneath my other ear, a thump, thump, thump.
Wait… that heartbeat is familiar. I’ve heard it before. Could it be Loch? No, Loch doesn’t smell like this. This man’s scent is strong like a storm, forcing the world to know the storm is here and it has you. A storm of fire and roses. Everything that’s been in my dreams when my dream man is there. Could this be him?
Why don’t I remember what happened?
My mind is swimming with a million thoughts and worries, but lying here pretending to be asleep is not going to help me. I lift my head slowly, almost like I’m still dreaming, but I know I’m not. Erax, the king who took everything from me, is lying propped against a tree. It hurts to see him. It feels like my heart is torn open with a mixture of bone deep pain and longing so strong it makes my body feel weak.
King Erax broke into the castle, and he tried to take me.
I remember now… and he must have succeeded.
Erax, myhusband, has been chasing me from the beginning. The boy who flew in on a dragon and stole me from the castle, the boy who, not long after killing my parents, stole me while wearing my father’s bloody crown.
King Erax is a monster. A breathtakingly handsome, brutal monster.
I stare at him for a long moment, like I need to have this frozen time to take him in. I don’t need anything from him, but how is it fair he looks like this? His thick arm is gripped around my waist, and his head is tilted up looking at the night sky. The silver moon highlights every inch of his white hair, the soft locks tumbling into his forehead. I didn’t think he had white hair, but it’s so bright now, and it pulls out the gold and green hues of his eyes. His jawline is tight, sculpted by the gods themselves, I bet, and everything from his thick white eyebrows to his perfect lips is flawless. The only thing that makes him look like a mortal is the long scar down the one side of his face, and for a second, I see myself running my finger slowly down it. The flash of memory is gone within a second, and I snap my jaw shut.
He’s still looking upwards, not at me, but at the stars peeking through the trees of the forest we’re buried in, without a care in the world. I look down, spotting the handle of a dagger sticking out of his belt. Quicker than I thought I could move, I grab it and hold it against his throat. He laughs. The monster king laughs at me, at the dagger against his throat. His eyes slowly drag down and lock with mine.
“Hello, wife. A pleasure as always.”
My heart starts picking up and racing harder the longer he stares, the longer I notice his arm around my waist, his hand gripping my hip possessively.
“I am not your wife.”
His eyes flicker with anger. “Whatever bullshit they have filled your mind with is that—bullshit. We are married, we love each other, and you are mine.” Love? What could he possibly know about that word? I don’t love him, and he doesn’t know how to feel that. Not with what he has done, not with how he took the throne in the beginning and how he has ruled. “Now put that down and keep your voice silent. We are not alone in this damned starless forest.”
Erax covers my hand on the dagger, pulling it off me almost effortlessly. I jam my elbow straight into his stomach. He grunts for a second, and I jump right off his lap. I scramble to my feet and run straight through the forest without looking back. I do see the sky, and I see Erax isn’t wrong. I can’t see a single star from here. I don’t get far before he’s crashing into me, turning us so he lands straight onto the hard, leaf-covered ground, sending mud splattering everywhere. He spins me around and pins me down in the mud and leaves. I stare at him in absolute fear, and he pauses. Pain etches across his face. “I won’t hurt you. I would never touch you without your consent, and I promise that on my life.”
“Please don’t hurt me anymore,” I whisper in horror.
“What are you talking about? Have any memories come back?” he demands. “How much magic did they pour down your throat, Mist? How much does it take for you to not remember us?”
I don’t know what to say as I stare at him, but memories of us?
“I don’t want to remember you raping me, hurting me and taking what you want! It’s better that I don’t remember!”
He grits his teeth. “Fuck, Mist. You let me inside you willingly, and you came around my cock like you wanted me just as much as I wanted you.” I go to tell him that’s impossible, but he isn’t done making my cheeks burn. My body throbs like itremembers, like it’s something it wants.I want.“I’ve never hurt anyone that didn’t deserve it. I’ve never forced a woman. They took your memories, told you lies, and I saved you from them. That is the truth.” He leans in. “The other truth that lingers between us is that I love you and you burn for me. You fucking love me, too, Mist. You can’t deny it.”
“Get… off me,” I snarl.
“Promise not to run?” He arches an eyebrow. “This forest isn’t safe. It was the only way to move untracked through the lands… but it’s dangerous here. It’s a dead man’s land, full of traitors and monsters who have no home. I mostly ignore this place, and your parents did the same.”
“Well, you will fit in perfectly here!” I hiss.
He laughs low. “I walked right into that one, Mist. If you don’t agree not to run, then I’m going to stay exactly here. I don’t mind being on top of you. In fact, this is one of my favourite places to be.”
“You’re disgusting.” I don’t let myself focus on how his body perfectly fits against mine.
That pounding in my chest as his lips twitch in amusement. A flashback of something, maybe a memory, flickers into my mind. He was drunk, and he was in my room. We were arguing, but I can’t focus on what we said. I think it was the night of our wedding. What were we arguing about? I shake my head and another memory flitters back. The wedding, him standing there in gold, but the feeling in my chest? I wasn’t scared. I was marrying him and I wasn’t scared. He is still looking at me when I can focus. “The memories are coming back, aren’t they? The further we get from that place, the less hold the magic has on you. I can smell it on you now, like death itself has tried to brand you as his.” His eyes flash. “But us? That can’t be taken. You already belong to?—”
“I do not belong to you!” I shout. He covers my mouth with his hand, and I immediately try to pull it off by scratching him. He doesn’t flinch.
“You do… and if you raise your voice one more time, I’m going to knock you out again and carry you out of this forest. It. Is. Not. Safe!”
Right on queue, a roar echoes through the trees that doesn’t sound like anything I want to meet.
