Page 47 of A Bond of Ice and Glass
He laughs, and I love it. The ease that is between us. Because he’s mine. He was always meant to be mine. My smile fades as I remember what happened. What if I hurt Erax while training? “I lost control of my power and killed someone before. I don’t want to do that ever again.”
Not unless they deserve it.
Erax pauses. All laughter is gone now.
“I’ve done that more than once. It never gets easier to take a life. Not when a soul is a soul and you feel it in here.” He taps my chest. “Killing should be hard, and if it wasn’t, if it was forgettable, then you’d have no soul left. You’re not judged for the mistakes that you make with great power that you do not know how to control yet. Did you choose to kill him? Or her?”
“Him. And no.” I shake my head. “No, I didn’t.”
“Would you have saved them if you could have?” he asks next.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Then it was not your choice. I think it only matters when you take a life and you know the answer to those two questions would be the opposite. I’ve known men and women like that, and they feel nothing.” He sighs. “You won’t forget, but you will remember that life as you train to control the magic. You need Freyren awake and near you. At the moment, your bond is unstable, and so is your power. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I want my power to do good, to protect you,” I whisper. “I miss Freyren so much it hurts. When are we leaving to go home?”
“Home.” He copies the word. “At dawn tomorrow. I’ll always protect you, my queen. You don’t have to worry about your power for now. Whatever’s coming, we’ll face it together.”
“I love you.” It seems so easy to say, but for him and me, it took a while to get to this point. For theI love yousto be so simple, to be so meaningful and real. I mean it with every inch of me, and this conversation only deepens it. He heard that I killed one of his men, and he never judged me once. I can’t tell him about Loch’s involvement in it yet. I can barely face it myself.
“I love you, too.” He leans in and kisses me deeply. I can taste myself on him. I can taste him too, and it’s everything. I pull him on top of me, wanting more, needing him inside me before I shatter.
Tomorrow, we go home, and our future will begin.
Chapter 15
Icrawl over into Erax’s spot on the bed where his warmth still lies. His scent wraps around me. Fire and spice, smoke and safety. It smells like home, instantly comforting me. Where is he?
I know it’s ridiculous to miss Erax already. He only left the room a minute ago. But the bed feels too cold without him, and I feel too raw to be alone.
Sunlight filters through the curtains, soft and golden. The pillow still holds the shape of his head. I let my eyes fall closed, breathing him in. Just for a moment.
A loud clang of metal jolts me awake.
I tense and then force myself to relax. Stop worrying. It’s probably just someone leaving the inn. Maybe they dropped something. Erax has only gone downstairs for food. He’ll be back soon. I press my cheek deeper into the blankets.
But then something roars. I shoot up in the bed. What in the name of Ciagid wasthat? The window smashes. I scream and cover my face with my arm. Glass scatters everywhere. On the ground, on the table, on the bed. Noble rolls onto the floor, and then he shoots up and quickly scans the room. His clothes are ripped and burned, his armour tarnished, and the bottom of hiscloak singed black. When his eyes land on me, he smiles and brushes the glass from his shoulders in a way that makes me want to punch him in his traitorous face.
“He didn’t hurt you?”
My rage only multiplies. I grab one of Erax’s knives out from under my pillow.
“No,” I say as calmly as I can, but my voice is laced with anger. “But I’m going to hurtyou—you lying, backstabbing son of a bitch!”
He smiles at me like he didn’t have me drugged for weeks onether.
“Do you know how pretty you are when you’re angry? I’ve missed that side of you. Therealyou.” He ruffles his hair, shaking away the bits of glass. How did he even blast through a freaking window? “It’s nice to see you back, ice princess.”
“Y-youbastard!” I throw the knife at him. He catches it with infuriating ease and grins at me. “You don’t get to miss anything about me! You betrayed me. You betrayed Erax. You’re a traitor! A coward!” I grab the pillows and throw each of them at him. He dodges most, but one hits him in the face. I’d laugh if I didn’t want to claw his eyes out so much. “He was like a brother to you,and you betrayed him!You pathetic piece of?—”
“I betrayed Loch too, and hewasmy brother,” he calmly replies. Then his humour vanishes and his eyes harden. “Look. We don’t have time for you to kill me just yet. I need to get you out of here.”
I shake my head at him. “No. I’m not going with you again. Erax will?—”
“Erax already has his hands full. He sent me here to protect you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
