Page 20 of Generally Hospitable
“She’s in my castle with Chub Chub Wang,” I told her.
“Alrighty then,” Candy Vargo said, squinting at me. “What the fuck is a Chub Chub Wang? Sounds like a large vibrator or a defective rubber dildo from the dollar store.”
Her description made me laugh. Even Abaddon cracked a reluctant smile. She had no clue how spot on she was. “Chub Chub Wang is a nickname that my people bestowed. He’s the false God—real name Decatalian.”
“Got it,” she said.
Both Dagon and Shiva exchanged surprised glances. They knew who he was. It was likely that they’d been around when Pandora and Lilith had slept with him. I’d grill them as well. However, I was waiting for Lilith. Fifi worked quickly and efficiently. I expected her back momentarily.
“Cher,” I said. “Write what Candy just said down—the vibrator and dildo part. I need to remember it for future use.”
Cher cackled. “Done.”
Candy Vargo was still perplexed. Shortly, she would not be. “Give me a minute, Candy,” I said, holding up a hand. “I’ll get everyone up to speed once my mom is here.”
“Love me a good mystery,” she said, plopping down on my couch and putting her dirty and raggedy assed tennis shoes on my coffee table. “I can wait.”
I was tempted to knock her nasty feet off the table, but decided against it. A table was just stuff. Stuff didn’t matter. People did. If Candy Vargo wanted to be gross and put her stanky feet on my furniture, she could do it. Although, I made a mental note to get a new coffee table after she left.
“What do we do now?” Dagon inquired.
“We wait,” I replied. “We wait for Lilith. I think she might have the key I’m searching for.”
I crossed my fingers and gently touched my stomach. Abaddon watched me and quirked an eyebrow in question. I pointed to the bedroom. It was time to share the stunning miracle with the love of my Immortal life. It wasn’t fair to keep the news to myself. I didn’t make the baby alone, and I was positive that some good news would be welcome.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Abaddon was tense and worried.I knew I had good news to share that I hoped would make him happy. He wasn’t in on it yet, but he would be very soon.
“Sit,” I said, pointing to the bed.
“Can’t,” he replied, pacing the room in agitation.
“You have to,” I shot back. “When I tell you what I have to tell you, your knees are going to give out.”
He gave me a perturbed look that should have terrified me. I just smiled and pointed at the bed.
“You are killing me,” he ground out, but warily sat on the very edge of the bed. “Speak.”
Pulling up the chair from my vanity, I sat in front of him, our knees touching. I wasn’t sure if I should just blurt it out, or be more delicate with the reveal. I decided to go with cryptic. That was how the Immortals did it. I’d been on the receiving side of that method for a while now. Abaddon was one of the biggest offenders of the cryptic method. It was time for a little payback. I didn’t always love it, but was learning to appreciate it. I had only one chance to tell Abaddon that he was going to be a father for the first time. Making it memorable was the plan.
“Okay, so you know we’ve had sex,” I began.
His head tilted in alarm and his eyes widened. “Umm… yes, but I’m not sure we should do that right now. Your mom is going to be here any second. The walls in your house are thin and you tend to be… you know… loud and screamy.”
“Oh my god,” I said with a laugh. “Not where I was going, dude. But thanks for letting me know I’m loud and screamy.”
The Demon was mortified. “Not what I meant,” he insisted. “I love that you’re loud and screamy. It’s great. And, I mean, if you want a quickie, I’m all in.” he stood up and began unbuttoning his pants.
This was going very left of center at lightning speed. Grabbing his hand, I stopped him. “Nope, it’s definitely not nookie time. Sit back down, please.”
He was confused. I didn’t blame him. Clearly, I hadn’t mastered the cryptic method yet. Pretending to be a cryptic Immortal wasn’t working for me. Granted, I was great at pretending when I was acting in a role, but I sucked at it in real life. I was an honest-to-goodness straight shooter—a rare commodity for a Demon, but I was who I was. That wasn’t going to change any time soon.
It was time to get to the point and release Abaddon from the panic attack that was welling up inside him. “You’re going to be a daddy,” I blurted. “And I’m going to be a mommy.” I threw my hands up. “I’m pregnant.”
A feather could have knocked one of the strongest Demons in existence to the ground right then if his expression was any indication. His mouth opened to speak, but no words came out. He tried multiple times to make a sentence and failed. My handsome Demon looked like a fish out of water, gasping for air. His eyes went from mine to my stomach, then back to my eyes… then back to my stomach.
For a hot sec, I was terrified that he wasn’t happy about the news, but that wasn’t the case at all. The shout of pureunadulterated joy that came from low in his gut then out of his mouth at a volume I was sure could be heard for miles, assuaged my fears. My Demon was over the moon.
