Page 27 of Generally Hospitable
“No. No, I do not mean hump furniture. I mean kill the bastards.” Maybe choosing Moon wasn’t the best plan…
“Got it! Kill then hump.”
I didn’t correct her. Time wasn’t on our side.
“On three,” I said. “One. Two. Three!”
We broke our huddle, then ran toward the castle, moving so fast that we were invisible to the naked eye. If Chub Chub Wang or any of his followers had been looking out of the windows, they wouldn’t have noticed that death in the form of a Bitch Goddess Cecily and her army was coming for them. And that was just the way I wanted it.
We arrived at the destination in exactly three seconds flat. Sometimes being a Demon did not suck. I motioned for my soldiers to plaster themselves against the building. They complied immediately.
“Pandora,”I called out in my mind.“I’m here. Can you hear me?”
There was no answer. That wasn’t good, but I knew from our connection that she wasn’t dead. Not yet. She was still alive.
“Let’s get this party started,” I said as I stood in front of my castle. Candy told me to be the badass. I was going to make her proud. “I command you to open every door to the castle—both inside and out. NOW!”
Slowly but surely, the doors opened. That wasn’t enough.
“Castle, create more doors,” I shouted. One every ten feet on the outer walls. NOW!”
Again, slow but sure.
Just one more request. “Castle, on my command, you will reveal every hidden passageway and room. I will be able to see everything in MY castle. Nothing will be hidden from me. If you comply, I won’t torch you. You have my word. Follow my order. NOW!”
The entire castle rocked on its foundation for a brief moment, then stilled. I was filled with a clarity that hadn’t been there a second before. Good. It was time to go in.
“Moon, go to the left with the army when we enter. Tiny, Abaddon and I will go right.”
“On it,” she said. “Any requests on the song you’d like me to hum?”
I grinned. There was a perfect song that would fit the bill… “Elton John. The Bitch Is Back, please.”
Moon laughed. “Can do. Will do, Bitch Goddess Cecily!”
Abaddon chuckled. Tiny smiled.
“You ready,” Abaddon asked.
“I am. You?”
“Born that way.”
“Let’s do it.”
CHAPTER TEN
Unfortunately,Moon didn’t have to lure the evil guards out with her hummed rendition of The Bitch Is Back. All fifty-seven of them were waiting for us as we entered my castle. The grand foyer was filled with flaming assholes, all ready to kill. The scent of sulfur was noxious. Had my sense of smell increased substantially since I found out I was pregnant? Maybe. Even though Lily had been in my incubator for less than a month, she was already growing rapidly. Anything was possible now that I had become a Goddess. I put my hand over my mouth when my gag reflex kicked in hard, and it took a massive effort not to hurl.
Abaddon, noticing my predicament, pushed me behind him as the enemy advanced. “Stay back, Cecily. You look like a ghost. We’ve got this.”
I gave him a weak nod. Holding my breath, I moved back to the open door where fresh air awaited. This was bullshit, I thought, as I exhaled noisily. I was furious with my body. I was the Goddess in charge, and I couldn’t fight because I was nauseated.
“Attack,” Abaddon bellowed as my people advanced on Chub Chub Wang’s.
There was barely room for all of us in the foyer. It was a large area, but there were over a hundred and fifty Demons battling inside. If I couldn’t fight just yet, I could still be useful.
“Irma, Corny, Stella and Jonny,”I called out in my mind.“Be ready to storm. We’re in the foyer fighting off the guards. If I need backup, be poised and ready. In fact, get everyone’s asses to the castle. I want you close. But stay outside until I call you in.”
