Page 71 of Shadow & Stars
“What happened?” Michelle cried.
It was one thing seeing Xavier alive yet trapped in the past with the younger version of me, but this hit differently. My eyes grew hot, relief and anguish colliding inside me, ready to come out in a banshee’s scream.
“You’re here,” I managed to say instead of wailing.
“I’m not the correct Xavier, but I am here.”
Anger dragged me back to my feet. “You’re here?”
He came a step closer.
“We said freeze!” Michelle bellowed.
The past Ismael-loving Xavier seemed different. Kind of defeated, kind of sad, and maybe even chastised.
“I want to…help.” His voice was a rasp, reflecting the confusion on his face. “I can’t let him do this.”
I moved closer, reaching a numbed state of mind. I was shocked to see him like this, but wary of him at the same time.
He’s still Xavier…
“You left Ismael?” I asked.
His lips curled back into a snarl. “Because of you.” He tapped his head with a finger. “You’ve tainted me.” Hate flashed in his white eyes, his free hand now balled into a tight fist.
“Who is this demon?” Eric questioned.
“My lover.”
“Your what?”
“I killed him and my best friend because of what’s inside me.” The words just fell out.
Somewhere inside this Xavier, his two hearts still called to me. Had he connected with his other selves? Did he feel what I felt looking at him?
“God…” I whispered.
Him being the meaner version of Xavier didn’t change my desires. My feet itched to launch me into his arms. To kiss him, to sob every shred of relief into his chest. Seeing his face brightened my world, making the sun look like a low wattage lightbulb.
Xavier came closer, holding up the jar. “Make it right.”
I took a few beats to pull myself together, every inch of my skin hot. “What if he’s come after you?”
“I’ll deal with him,” he answered curtly.
“Can you trust him?” Michelle asked.
“I…” Did I? “We have to open that jar.”
I moved closer to him, fear slowing my steps. If this was a trick, there wasn’t a thing he could do. He’d already tried hurting me. But he could slaughter these agents.
“What changed your mind?” I asked.
“My love for you.” He tried unscrewing the lid.
It didn’t budge.
Typical.
