Page 63 of Heart of Dawn
Be selfish. Be selfless. Pick a direction. Live by the decision. Die by the decision. Being selfish could kill everyone here. Being selfless meant…
Shit. What would Orion think if I told him I was giving up on us to save the world? Would he be mad? Could anyone be mad at that?
I left the ward for a moment, the room too close, too many bodies and voices around me. Alone time would help.
With my back against the wall, my arms folded so tightly, I found myself stuck again. Drifting into my thoughts, languishing in dread, swaying on the edge of heartbreak.
I hated being stuck. I hated indecision.
Tears blurred my vision, breaking free, rolling silently down my cheeks. The pressure got too much. I slid down the wall, losing myself to weakness. Hating myself more.
When would this wheel stop spinning?
Folding my arms across the top of my knees, I buried my face in them and drew deep breaths, trying to calm down. Then I felt a squishy presence in my pocket. Belle, my unicorn stress ball, still there. I fished her out and squeezed her in time with each second.
“Thanks,” I whispered.
Belle, named by Orion and gifted by James, always helped me out whenever I wandered too far into stress.
Thump, thump.
I lifted my head.“Orion?”
Thump, thump.
His heartbeat came through louder than normal, heavier.
“Orion?”
No answer, only those unsettling beats.
“Ori?”
Nothing.
“Ori?”
“I’m here… I’m… I’m okay.”
His voice. His sweet, sweet voice.“You’re not.”
“I will… I will be.”
“Don’t leave me.”Why did I say that when on the cusp of leaving him?
“I… I won’t. I better… I better rest.”
“I’ll be…”I couldn’t finish, and the connection faded away.
Hearing him made the indecision worse, the frustration unbearable. It made me a sobbing mess, a useless lump in a hospital corridor without a clue of its next move.
Damn.
Just damn.
CHAPTER TWENTY
ORION
