Page 27 of Lunar Desires
The moment I looked into his magnificent blue eyes that day in Coldhabour’s Mystique Square, a shift took place inside of me. And it shook me harder and harder with every second, emotional tectonic plates crashing into one another.
The Moon occupied every thought, my fascination quickly becoming romantic. An insta-love thing, an admiration for his hopeful charm, his sunshine personality.
Or should that be moonlight personality?
I’d fallen for him, big time. And fucked it up.
Why would he want me after this? How could he trust me? I wouldn’t trust me, even if I knew deep down I’d never leave him again. It’d been a momentary lapse in judgment. A completewanker move. If he did want me, I would make up for my mistake, take care of him, be the man he deserved.
He deserves better than you…
That voice. That cruel voice with hints of Sandra, my adopted mother, always dragging me down, always kicking, kicking, kicking. Never shutting up, never letting me be happy. Damaging me, forever sticking the knife in.
Being damaged meant the darkness had a piece of me, the scars of its cruelty deep.
But I didn’t have to let it win.
I was better than trash.
I was more than damaged goods.
I was in love for the first time in my life and Riley needed to know that.
You’ve fucked up,the inner voice whispered again, mocking me.
The phoenix tattoo on my back represented my counterattack against the lack of self-worth. Reminding me I was a fighter, surviving to the age of twenty-eight for a reason.
I survived. I battled on. I always rose from the ashes. I’d escaped the hell of Sandra’s house to forge myself a new life, using my scrying power to help others find things. I made a nice living from it, getting myself a studio flat in Norwich above a chip shop. Lived. Embraced as much life as I could.
Even made a few friends, including Molly, and helped her bring down the scummy gang. After, I worked for her, got paid in cash and comic books. We bonded over our love of comics and graphic novels. It was my dream to write and illustrate my own comic book one day, to see it on the shelves of Molly’s shop.
If she still had a shop left.
Man, here came the regret again, roaring like a bullet train. My actions landed her in the shit, along with Riley. Two for the price of one.
“Stop whining,” I chided myself.
Self-pity helped no one. Maybe from this moment on I could start thinking there might be some good stuff in my future for once.
Sparkle…
Sparkle in the shape of Riley…
Determined to fight on with an image of The Moon’s beautiful face blazing in my mind, I forced myself to my knees. The effort made me retch, pain flaring throughout my body. But I went one further, pushing through the agony until I stood upright, leaning on the wall for support.
It turned out Icouldget back up again.
Good.
Using the wall, I took slow, shuffling steps. Moving inch by inch, the movement a rigorous effort.
Man, I’d never been so sweaty in my life—sex with Riley aside.
That’d been some amazing sex. The best ever.
I want more.
A shade hissed behind me, killing the vibe.
