Page 23 of Conflicting Lyrics
Bringing the bunny to my nose, I close my eyes and inhale deeply. A soft whimper rattles in my chest as I’m hit with a wave of longing and sorrow at her scent— peppermint cheesecake.
I swear if Omegas could be scent matched with other Omegas, she would be mine. I’ve never been so affected by a scent in my life.
I’m obsessed. Candles, shampoo, body spray. All of it needs to be peppermint cheesecake. Funny thing was, I couldn’t stand the taste before becoming an Omega, now it’s all I crave.
Getting to my feet, I bring the bunny to my nest and place it in the middle. “There, now it’s perfect.”
The sound of my phone ringing has me rushing back out to the kitchen, where I left it on the counter. When I see Lisa’s name lighting up my phone, I smile and quickly answer. “Hey!” I say cheerfully.
“Lulu, my love, how are you? How was the flight? Are you okay? Do you need me to come get you?” Lisa rushes out.
“No,” I laugh. “Everything is fine. I’m good.”
I talk to Lisa for a while, filling her in on everything that's happened since I left, promising I’d call her every day before hanging up and taking a much-needed, very hot shower.
Once my hair is dry, I slip into my favorite t-shirt that just so happens to be another one of Ally’s concert tees, and get myself comfortable in my nest.
Pulling up my music list on my phone, I bring up my bedtime playlist and click play.
The sound of Ally’s beautifully haunting voice fills the space as I close my eyes. It’s one of my favorite songs, even though the lyrics kill me.
It’s about love and loss, heartbreak and pain. It’s about me. I know it in my bones.
And while it’s not a love song in any way, the fact is it’s one from her newest album.
In my delusional mind, I have myself convinced that it means she still thinks about me. Maybe still loves me?
Fucking hell, Lulu, I think it’s time to make an appointment with your therapist because this is stalker behavior.
I know I need to move on with my life, to find a pack that can love me the way I deserve, to be happy and healthy…
But I can’t. Not yet. I’m not ready.
Maybe with some time at Calling Wood, things will change.
I hope it will.
Right now, I need to kick ass in school, make a few friends, and hopefully not let my fucked up past and trauma dictate my life.
If only it weren’t easier said than done.
My first twoweeks at Calling Wood have been nothing but amazing. Everyone here has been so nice and welcoming. I don’t get strange looks like I don’t belong, and no one is in my business, trying to find out my life story.
In a way, I blend in, but not enough to feel like I don’t exist.
Classes are good; my teachers are decent, and I enjoy the things I’m learning. Every day I wake up, excited to see what itwill bring. Honestly, I’ve been so busy with all the new changes, I’ve hardly had time to think. And when it comes to a certain someone, that's a good thing.
However, I have around two more weeks before my heat is expected to hit, and the worry has set in these last few days.
I’ve been doing some over-the-phone sessions with my therapist, and she's been helping me deal with all the mixed feelings.
She reminded me that I survived something horrible and made it out on the other side. Solo heats aren't uncommon for Omegas, and I’ll be just fine. It’s not going to be a pleasant experience, but it’s not the end of the world. And that's what I’m choosing to believe.
“Where to?” Rick asks as we pull away from the Omega compound.
“I have to start on a project for my media class. So, I’m thinking a few hours at the library will do me some good. Is that okay?”
He nods his head. “Fine by me. I’m just here to serve you.” He shoots me a wink before focusing on the road again.
