Page 30 of Conflicting Lyrics
She laughs. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll make us some eggs while you take your rank ass to the shower and clean up.”
“Oh geez. Thanks, babe, love you too,” I roll over, squinting up at her as I give her the finger.
She just grins, blows me a kiss, and bounces her cheery ass over to the kitchen.
Sighing heavily, I push past the nausea swirling in my belly as my head spins while getting out of bed.
The shower helps a lot, but I still feel gross when I’m done. I keep a change of clothes here—often sleeping over when we work too late—so I get dressed, brush out my hair, and trudge back to the kitchen where Maya has a cup of coffee and a fried egg, just the whites, waiting for me.
“Fuck me,” I groan as I inhale the goodness that is caffeine.
“Sorry, babe. We’ve been over this; I don’t swing that way. But trust me, if I did, I’d totally take you up on that offer.” She smiles with a wink.
“Oh, I know you would.” I grin back and groan again when I take a drink.
“What're your plans for today?” she asks.
“School tomorrow,” I mutter. “Gotta head back and study.”
“Don’t look so sad. You love studying.”
“That is true. But my heat is coming in like a week, and I still don’t have a temp pack.”
She frowns. “What happened with the Colsons?”
“What always happens.” I rub at my eyes. “They want something more. Seriously, someone needs to have a talk with the Dean or Tia. Because packs are clicking the wrong box when signing up. It’s rare to find a pack that just wants to fuck. Why let emotions get involved?”
“Don’t you think maybe it’s time?” she asks.
I shoot her a glare. “Don’t you think it’s time for you, too?”
She bites her lips, shutting up fast.
“And yes. I do, okay? I’m graduating this year, and I want to start looking.” Her face lights up, but I hold out my hand. “But not with the pack program. Something more natural.”
“Okay. Fair. Like what?”
“Maybe go out a bit more, and not turn down hot guys who want to take me home at the end of the night.” I laugh.
“That would be a good start.” She grins.
As much fun as having temp packs for my heat has been, doing it for so many years has left me feeling like I’m missing a piece of myself.
It’s like I want the pack life now; I want to be held, loved, cared for, but not by any of the packs I’ve been with.
I’m not holding out and hoping for my scent match, but I do want to find a pack that fits. A pack that feels right.
I could have taken pack Colson up on their offer of a date, but I already knew well into the few heats they helped me out with that there wasn't anything more than sex between us.
I just… knew.
There's a part of me that truly believes when the right pack comes along, I’ll just know.
So while I’m not holding out for my scent match, I am holding out for that.
“I better get going,” I say before downing the rest of my coffee. “Don’t work too hard,” I warn her.
Her face lights up. “After the numbers you showed me last night, fat chance. I’m even more eager to work on my next book now than I was yesterday.”
