Page 4 of Conflicting Lyrics
“Of course.” I force a fake bravado. “I’m confident I aced all of my exams.”Lies, lies, lies.I have convinced myself that I failed and my life will be derailed.Gotta love the mind of an overthinker.
The only time the worrying thoughts leave my mind is when I’m with Ally. Just being in her presence settles something inside me. Her smile, her laugh, her carefree look on life.
The way she never lets anything get in the way of what she wants.
I wish I could be more like her.
“Good,” my father grunts. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
“I know.”That's the problem.
Once the dishes are washed, dried, and put away, I make a dash for my room. My spine stiffens when my mother speaks again, just as I reach the bottom step.
“Lucinda,” she calls out from the living room.
“Yes?” I call back, my heart racing.
“Make sure you read your daily passages. Pastor Don will be reviewing them on Sunday.”
“Yeah. For sure,” I answer back, stomach sinking at the idea of going to church.
Not wanting to give her the chance to ask anything else of me, I rush up the stairs until I’m safely behind closed doors.
Letting out a heavy breath, I tuck my hair behind my ears and go over to my cell phone that's plugged in on the bedside table.
If possible, I try to avoid using it anytime I’m around my parents. They always ask what I’m doing and who I’m talking to. And if they suspect anything, they demand to see my phone.
When I open my lock screen, I smile down at the photo. It’s a picture of a daisy.
“Here.” Ally bends over, plucking a small white daisy from the ground. She stands up and smiles. My heart flutters in my chest as she steps closer. “A pretty flower for a pretty girl.” She winks before tucking the stem behind my ear.
“You’re so crazy.” I laugh, trying to brush it off like it’s just a silly, playful moment, when really, on the inside, my heart is going crazy.
This girl is my whole world, the light in my endless darkness, the only thing that keeps me feeling sane in a house full of crazy. And she doesn’t even know it.
Blinking my eyes, I pull myself out of the memory. One I’ve held onto a lot harder than I should have.
The notification letting me know I have a new text has me rushing to open my messages.
I don’t have Ally’s number saved in my phone. If my parents found out I was talking to her, I’d be in a whole heap of trouble. It’s messed up, and I hate it. I hate them.
Is it possible to both love someone and hate everything about them?
They don’t like Ally, and never really have. They say she’s too wild, that she’s on the road to do the devil’s work. They hate her parents even more because of who they are. Three Alphas and an Omega.
In their eyes, they live the life of an ultimate sinner.
In my parents' beliefs, Alphas and Omegas are abominations. They believe that it should be a man and a woman together. No other pairings. Only one man, one woman, in a monogamous relationship.
They believe that Alpha and Omegas are sex driven heathens, that they are animals who only care about primal instincts. Omegas are nothing but whores for wanting more than one man in their bed.
Don’t even get me started on same sex relationships. They believe it’s just as corrupt. That if it’s any pairing other than a male Beta and female Beta together, they’re going to be damned to hell.
I’ve lived surrounded by this kind of mentality my whole life. And up until meeting Ally, I believed it.
But deep down inside, I knew something wasn't right. They preach kindness and help thy neighbor, but only when it comes to Betas? How is that right?
It’s not. And the older I got, the more I saw their corruption, saw how sick the mentality of my parents and their church really was.
