Page 45 of Conflicting Lyrics
And these men? I want them more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life.
Except for her.
But she’s not here, and they are. I can’t keep living in the past.
So if these men still want something more with me by the end of tonight, I’m going to give it to them. And pray to any god who’s listening that I don’t regret it. I’m not sure if I could handle another loss.
“We’re done for the night,” Gavin announces, pushing his chair back to get to his feet. “Come on, Darlin’.” He winks. “Let’s dance.”
My eyes spark with excitement, a grin taking over my whole face. “Okay.” I look down at Brady. “Are you okay if I go?”
“Yes.” He grabs me by my hips and helps me to my feet. “Go have fun.” He swats my ass with a chuckle. “But not too much fun, not without me.”
Feeling happier than I have in way too long, I leave Brady to gather our winnings and take Gavin’s hand.
“Thank you.” I tilt my head back to look up at Gavin.
“For what?” he asks, wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me flush against his body as he starts to rock us to the slow beat of the song that just came on.
“For helping me out today.”
“Trust me, Darlin’, it was all our pleasure.” His smile, that damn smile, has me swooning. “So, how are you really doing? I know a lot has happened tonight, and I’m sure you didn’t expect to be pulled off the street and thrown into the life of an MC. Although you seem to be handling it well.”
“It’s been fun,” I admit with a soft laugh. “And no, it sure as hell isn’t what I expected. But life is weird, you know? I’ve come to learn that you can never expect what it’s going to throw at you, because you’re sure to be wrong.”
“Yeah?” His brows furrow. “How so?”
I shrug, looking at a spot over his shoulder as my chest begins to ache while thinking about the past. “I used to dream like anyone does. For this big, exciting life. I had hopes and dreams. Everything a girl would want.”
“And did any of those dreams come true?” he asks, voice low, the hand on my back moving in a soothing motion, sensing the shift in the air.
“No,” I say sadly, but a smile is still on my lips. “No, they didn’t.”
“Would it be too much to ask why?” Brady is at my back now, boxing me in between him and his brother. My eyes flutter closed, the mingling of their scents comforting me.
Maybe it’s the alcohol making the words freely slip from my lips, or the fact that I know in my soul I can trust these men—no matter how terrifying that thought is—but I tell them without a second thought.
“Short story is I've lived a fucked up life. I didn’t know how fucked up life could be until my parents locked me in a room andlet strangers poke at me like a lab rat.” I laugh, because I don’t wanna cry. Not right now. Not with them.
I feel both of them stiffen, the air around us growing deathly still. “What the fuck do you mean, Lulu?” Brady growls.
“You pay attention to the news?” I ask, resting my head back against Brady’s chest.
“Have to,” Gavin answers, his eyes filling with a darkness that should have scared me, but it only made me aroused. “It’s part of the job to know what’s going on around us.”
“Six years ago. In Montana, a cult Pastor was arrested. Did you hear of that story?”
“Yes,” Brady growls low and sinisterly. “Are you telling me that fucking monster touched you?”
“Not like that,” I reply, chewing on my lip. “But I grew up in that life, with those kinds of people. When my parents found out I wasn’t the picture-perfect daughter they were trying to force me to be, they lashed out. Tried to pray the gay away, only they pumped me full of drugs until I was a zombie, among other things.”Things I don’t want to think about, to speak about, ever again.
“Anyways…” I slip out from between them, needing a bit of air. Running my hand through my hair, I turn around to face them, slipping a fake smile onto my face. “Shit just got real and heavy way too fast. I don’t think you wanna hear all about the fucked up trauma in my life. Wouldn’t blame you if you went running for the hills right now.” I laugh awkwardly, because apparently I don’t know how to shut up. “You sure you want me? I come with a whole luggage cart of baggage. Did I mention I’m still in love with my childhood best friend?” I close my eyes and groan. “You know what, I’m just going to shut up and see myself out.”
I knew this was too good to be true. I’m good with people, but I know nothing when it comes to being around people I like in a romantic way.
“You're not going anywhere.” Brady grabs my arm, pulling me back until I hit his chest. Gavin moves behind me, so they have me trapped again. Part of me wants to panic, but the other part never wants to leave. “You think that's gonna scare us away, little lady?” he chuckles, reaching out to play with one of my curls before shaking his head. “It would take a hell of a lot more to do that. You didn’t run from us, so why the fuck would we run from you?”
My eyes sting as I look between the two of them, heart clenching with hope and fear. “Why me?” I whisper, still having no idea why these two men would want me.
