Page 54 of Conflicting Lyrics
My mind is plagued with so many different conflicting emotions.
Happiness, joy, hope, fear, uneasiness, uncertainty. All of it over the fact that I like these two Alphas who came into my life, took it by storm, and changed everything literally overnight.
And the fact that there‘s this fucked up part of me that feels like I’m betraying Ally. I might lie to myself that I’m over her, but I’m not. And I truly don’t think I ever will be.
The bond we had is like a brand to my soul. She kept me going when I didn't know I needed her. Gave me the only escape from that fucked up nightmare I was living in until she fully consumed me without me even knowing.
I owe her so much for saving me, even if neither of us knew that's what she was doing at the time.
Now I’m at a crossroads.Do I let myself be happy, not letting my past control my present or future, and give these men a chance at the happiness I’ve been longing for for so damn long?
Or do I run and keep holding onto the ghost of my past?
Getting out of the shower, I dry myself off and wrap the towel around my body before heading into the room.
Standing in the doorway, tears spill down my cheeks as I watch them.
Gavin is on his stomach, lips parted as he softly snores. His toned ass peeks out of the covers, making me smile.
Brady is on his back with the sheet draped over his lower half, tattooed abs on display, and an arm resting over his eyes as he snores, too.
Pulling on clothes from the dressers in the room, I tell myself I’m not running.
I tell myself the same thing as I leave the two of them sleeping and slip out of this strange house.
I keep telling myself that as I walk across the grass, the morning sun beating down on me, surrounding me in a warm glow.
“Running away?” A voice has me choking on a scream. Spinning around, I find Dakota leaning against a nearby house, brow raised as she takes me in.
“No,” I squeak out, but neither of us buys it.
She sighs, pushing herself off the wall and walking towards me.
I’m frozen in fear, not sure what she's going to do.
“It’s going to kill them, you know.” She crosses her arms, stopping a few feet before me.
Guilt hits me like a punch to the gut.
“I don’t want to hurt them,” I promise.
“Then why are you running?” She tilts her head to the side.
“Because I’m so fucking scared.” I rub at my face as the tears leak from the corners of my eyes. “My past is fucked up, Dakota. I come with so much baggage I’d sink a boat. It’s hard for me to trust anyone. And I haven’t let myself feel anything for another person in a long time. I’m still in pain from the last one. They just met me, the last thing they need is some broken Omega.”
“Did they tell you that?”
“No,” I whisper.
“Then don’t you think you owe it to them to let them decide what’s best for themselves?”
Chewing on my lip, my heart races in my chest. One conflicting thought after another fills my mind.
Ultimately, I agree. “Can I have your phone?”
She pauses but reaches into her back pocket and pulls it out, handing it to me. Finding her contacts, I add my number and my address before handing it back to her.
“Tell them I’m not running. I just…” I look over my shoulder to the house that holds the two men who mean more to me than I care to admit, before looking back to their little sister. “I need time. A lot has happened in the past few days, and I need time to process before I freak out and fuck this all up.”
