Page 6 of Conflicting Lyrics
My photo album on my phone is filled with nothing but photos of nature. Not a single selfie of me or Ally.
To someone else, they might not mean anything. I’m just taking photos of things I think are pretty, but what they don’t know is every photo is connected to a time I was hanging out with Ally.
Now, if you were to look at Ally’s phone, that would be a completely different story. It’s filled with endless selfies of us. Photos of me. It was something she always demanded every time we saw each other.
Knowing that she, at the very least, had a million memories saved away gives me some sort of relief. The idea of not having any proof of our years of friendship is just plain depressing.
Placing my phone down on my side table, I go over to my closet and pick out something to wear.
I frown when I’m done looking through everything I have, letting out an annoyed breath.
Nothing that I own would be considered party attire.
It’s literally everything a little virgin, church girl would wear.
I hate them all. It’s not the style I want. But if I wore what I liked, my parents would ground me, call me a whore or slut, then drag me down to the church for my sins to be prayed away.
It’s not worth the fight; I just wear what my mother buys me.
Settling on the decently cute yellow sundress, I pull it off the hanger, fold it up, and shove it under my bed.
Grabbing some PJs, I throw them on and head downstairs to say goodnight to my parents.
Once I’m back in my room, I shut the lights off, get into bed, and wait.
Tears slowly leak from my eyes as I stare out my window.Why me? Why was I born into a family like this?Deep down, I know I’ll never survive this life they’ve set me up for.
Eventually, I’ll go crazy.
Yet, I can’t bring myself to leave it. To tell them I don’t want to live like this, that I want to live my life how I please.
Their disappointment, the pure horror that I know would be in their eyes if I ever uttered those words, is the only thing stopping me.
I can’t explain it. I don’t understand why I care so much. I just… do. And I hate myself for it. Hate them. The only person I don't hate is her.
Grabbing my phone off the side table, I see that it’s been almost two hours, and is ten minutes to ten pm.
Getting up out of bed, I quietly creep out of my room and down the hall to their bedroom. Peaking through the crack, my shoulders relax when I hear my father’s snoring and see my mother’s sleeping form in the bed.
Once I’m back in my room, I quickly get changed into my sundress, brush out my hair, shove my shoes into my purse, and adjust my pillows to make it look like someone's in the bed sleeping.
Carrying my phone and purse, I open my bedroom window and climb out onto the roof that covers the deck below.
Carefully, I slide down until I get to the edge, my legs swinging over the side ,and turn my body so that I’m on my belly. Letting myself slide off, I grip the edge and close my eyes, praying this drop won’t be too loud.
Once I’m on the deck, I pull my shoes out of my purse and slip them on before taking another quick look around, making sure no lights come on in the house before darting through the back gate.
As soon as the gate is closed, a rush of adrenaline hits me, and a massive smile takes over my face while I run down the back alley, not stopping until I get to the end.
And just like I expected, the little white car is waiting for me. Hurrying over to the passenger side, I yank open the door and slide in.
“Hey,” I say breathlessly as I look over at Ally in the driver’s seat.
She grins back at me. “Hey, yourself,” she laughs. “All good?”
I swallow hard, nodding. “All good.”
“Alright!” She cheers. “Let’s get fucked up!“
