Page 63 of The Love Comeback
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ella
The last thing I expected was to be FaceTiming Kade during Colton’s game—not after I told him I needed space. But there was something so earnest in his text message that made me reach out despite my better judgment.
Seeing his reaction to Colton’s playing, how nothing mattered more to him than watching a ten-year-old’s hockey game—a ten-year-old who isn’t even his—didsomethingto me.
It did something to my heart.
“Dude, I can’t believe we won again!” Aaron gives Colton a high five as the two emerge from the locker room.
“I know!” Colton beams with pride as he meets my gaze.
“You played great today, kiddo.” I bring him in for a hug, giving him a tight squeeze before releasing him. Valerie does the same for Aaron, and we drift away from the crowd of parents and onlookers, heading toward the exit.
“Everyone thinks that Colton’s dad is a professional hockey player,” Aaron blurts out as soon as we step out into the evening air. “And he didn’t tell them no!”
I whip my head around to Colton, my eyes widening. “Why do they think that?”
“Um…” Colton’s voice trails off, and his cheeks redden. “I don’t know…”
“It’s ’cause they saw Kade at our first game and he had that sign and stuff!” Aaron continues to rattle off, telling all about what’s been happening on the team. “Colton didn’t say anything, so they all think that Kade is his dad!”
Valerie and I exchange a look, and she guides Aaron’s shoulders away from us. “We really need to get going … we’ll talk tomorrow?” Valerie smiles at the two of us, and then we split, them heading toward their van and us toward the Tahoe.
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, knowing that I’m going to have to address this before it gets out of hand. “Come on,” I say, placing a hand on his back. “We need to talk.”
He’s quiet, throwing his bag into the backseat and then climbing in. His total silence has me feeling a little guilty—but also irritated. Why wouldn’t he tell the kids the truth? Kade isn’t his dad…
I climb into the driver’s seat and start the car, letting the engine warm up as we sit and idle in the parking lot. “Did you tell your teammates that Kade is your dad?” I let the question hang in the silence as I adjust the rearview to meet his gaze in the mirror.
Colton’s eyes immediately drop to his lap. “I … I didn’ttellthem he was my dad … I just didn’ttell them he’snotmy dad.”
“Did you want them to think that Kade is your dad?” I ask the question softly, trying to make sure I don’t come across as accusatory—or make him feel like he’s in trouble. That’s the last thing I want to do right now. I just want Colton to feel safe enough to share his feelings and not bottle them up.
“I just…” His voice trails off as he glances up, meeting my eyes in the mirror. They’re rimmed with moisture, and as much as I want to be mad at him, I can’t bring myself to feel anything other than pure sympathy. His lower lip quivers, and his voice breaks. “I just wanna have a dad, too.”
My heart explodes in my chest as he begins to cry, and I quickly unbuckle and spin around in my seat to reach out to him and grab his hand. I give it a squeeze. “Colton, I’m so sorry. I really am. There are so many things that I wish I could change.”
“Why can’t you just be with Kade?” His voice strains through his distress, and I feel the weight of his words on my shoulders. “He’s super nice, and Aaron says thathe likes you!”
“It’s not that simple,” I say quietly but firmly. “It doesn’t work like that.”
“Well, itshould.” Colton shuts down then, folding his arms across his chest after wiping his tears away.
“You can’t lie about who your dad is,” I say softly. “Your dadwasreally good at hockey. He could’ve been a pro had that been something that he wanted to do, but instead, he just wanted to be your dad.”
“Do you think he’d be proud of me?” Colton’s voice comes out so small, reminding me of the sad five-year-old that sat in the back of my car and cried for his parents for hours after the accident.
“I think they’d both besoproud of you, Colton. They’d cheer for you louder than anyone else in the entire world.” I fight to hold back the tears as Colton nods, fresh ones spilling from his eyes and down his cheeks. His nod tells me he needs space, and I turn back around in my seat, buckle up, and pull out of the parking spot.
I readjust the mirror, preventing Colton from seeing me as the tears begin to fall from my own eyes. I’d never wish this kind of pain on anyone, especially not a child. I know that Colton wants to be able to point out his dad like a lot of the other kids on the team.
I breathe in and out, trying to keep myself from breaking down as I make the fifteen-minute drive home. As soon as Ipull into the driveway and park in the garage, Colton hops out, leaving his hockey bag in the backseat.
I let him go, slowly gathering all my things from the day and grabbing his bag on the way inside. I set it all down in the mudroom and then kick off my shoes. I walk slowly across the tile floors, hearing the shower running in the bathroom. I let out a sigh and keep going to my room.
Instead of immediately hopping into my own shower, I plop down on the edge of the bed and fish my phone out of my pocket. I scroll to my mother’s phone number and hit the call button, trying to keep it together.
