Page 68 of The Love Comeback
What if I can’t give her what she wants?
What if I don’t make hockey a career? And I end up poor, like my parents?
The thoughts spin around in my head as I drive to our spot by the lake.
When I make it, Ella is already there, sitting on the bench. I hurry out of my car and rush toward her, sitting down beside her, our shoulders brushing. I wrap my arm around her as she peers up at me, tears in her eyes.
“I can’t believe I have to leave tomorrow,” she murmurs, her voice shaky. “I thought this summer would last so much longer.”
I nod, a lump growing in my throat as I think about our imminent goodbye. “It went by really fast…”
Ella furrows her brow, her golden eyes focused on me. “Are you okay?”
I can’t figure out how to tell her all the things I have on my mind—and it tumbles out in theworstway. “I think I need to focus on hockey.”
She jerks backward, confusion etched in her expression. “Um … I don’t understand what you’re saying. Of course you have to focus on hockey, but you also need to focus on school, too. Are you trying to…” Her voice trails off, and she connects dots that I don’t even know I’m creating. “Oh my gosh, you’re breaking up with me. You’re breaking up with me.”
“No… Well… I… You’re going to be a long way away, and I just don’t want to bea grocery boy—”
“What?” Ella cuts me off, standing to her feet in a hurry. “A grocery boy? Are you serious? Iknewsomething was off with you… You’ve been acting funny since yesterday, and I bet you were listening to your dad again, weren’t you? I don’t know why you think if you don’t go pro, you’re going to end up stuck bagging groceries! You’ll still have a college degree, you know!” She throws her arms out in the most dramatic way possible, and I’m just as shocked as she is.
“I just want to be able to give you the world, and I don’t know… Maybe long distance isn’t going to be the way that works.” My words are tumbling out of my mouth, and I know I’m not making any sense. What am I doing? What am I even saying?
“Okay, I get it.” Ella blows out a sigh. “Iknewthere was a chance this would happen. I knew it. You’ve always loved hockey more than you ever loved me.”
“No…” My voice trails off. “But I have to put my everything into hockey. That’s the only way that I can be who I want to be for you.”
“This is so twisted.” Her face contorts with hurt. “You’re breaking up with me so you can be who you need to be for me?” She shakes her head, tears streaming down her face. “I can’t believe you, Kade. I really can’t believe you.”
Ella spins on her heels and storms away, leaving me there in a puddle of shock.
I can’t even find the words until her car is peeling out of the parking lot. With blurry vision, I gaze after her. I just broke up with the woman who, hours ago, I was going to promise to be with forever…
And now, I might have to live forever without her.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ella
The classroom feels too quiet after the last student leaves, the silence punctuated by the ticking of the clock and my pen tapping against the stack of ungraded papers on my desk. I have thirty-two math quizzes to grade, each one needing my full attention—attention I can’t seem to muster because my thoughts keep drifting to Kade.
I set down my pen and rub my temples, my eyes going to my phone sitting face-up on my desk. No new notifications. No texts from Kade. Which is exactly what I asked for, isn’t it? Space. Distance. Time to think.
So why does itfeel so hollow?
I manage to grade two papers before my thoughts stray again. It’s not that the work isn’t important. These kids deserve my full attention. But Kade’s words keep echoing in my head.
“I’m always here for both of you.”
I shake my head, trying to dislodge his voice from my memory. I called him in a moment of weakness, when Colton’s tears about wanting a dad broke my heart, and when my own mother couldn’t even remember what decade we were in. I just needed someone who would understand, someone who knows Colton well enough to offer genuine insight.
I didn’t expect Kade to answer immediately. I didn’t expect the gentle patience in his voice as I stumbled through an explanation. I definitely didn’t expect his words to make me feel so … seen.
And so …safe.
I stare at Lucy Smith’s quiz. She’s made the exact same error as three other students. I should make a note to review that concept tomorrow. But instead, I find myself thinking about how Kade’s never missed a single opportunity to be there for Colton, even when I pushed him away. How much that consistency must mean to a boy who’s lost so much.
It’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep him at arm’s length when he’s so thoroughly woven himself into the fabric of our lives. When Colton talks about him constantly. When I find myself looking for him in the stands before I even realize what I’m doing.
