Page 17 of Surviving the Break
Uncle Bo then used something resembling a tweezer to cut into the oyster and remove a small ball coated in slime. Dropping the tiny ball into a glass bowl, he removed the plug and placed the oyster into a fish tank. By that point, I stood over the table. Uncle Bo cleaned the pearl and held it out to me in the palm of his hand. It was black but had stunning overtones that exhibited multiple colors.
“Wow,” I gasped. “It’s beautiful.”
“I can put a little hole through it and make a chain for you, if you’d like.”
“Yes! Thank you, Uncle Bo.”
We went into another part of the facility that housed all the harvested pearls. Glass jars were filled with them. The lights in the room bounced off them, causing a rainbow effect. I spun in place, openmouthed.
Granddad got down on one knee, resting a finger near my heart. “Always remember to look on the inside, squirt.”
I lived by that moral code. But can you guess what happened to a man when he discovered that the person he believed to be worth all the pearls and even gold was rotten to his core? How could I ever trust my own eyes again?
ASH HAD DROPPEDall pretenses since our first time out, or he’d legitimately concluded what exactly he wanted from me. Either way, it was just my luck that I’d ran into him almost every day for the better part of two weeks after he dropped his bombshell at The Center.
With the end-of-summer fundraiser approaching, it’d been all hands on deck to get everything in order for the festivities. Ash’s kids were busy rolling out medical survival kits to be sold, Sam and her art students were churning out paintings, and my woodshop kids were carving easels to hold the art work and picture frames for the photography student’s contributions.
With all the hustle and bustle going on, it should’ve been easy enough to avoid him, but Pluto never failed to slip from my sight, only for me to have to track him down in Ash’s class. I’d charge in on a warpath and squint down at Pluto, who sat occupying the space next to Ash’s foot, and Ash would shift closer in a move meant to protect him. Ash had found an ally, and I had a traitor in the midst.
I glowered now at the traitor in question sprawled on the floor as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror adjusting my tie. “I’m on to you,” I said, and he chuffed, before waddling into the bedroom to hide his guilt.
Ash rotated between excessive flirting to seemingly ignoring me all together. The latter you’d think would’ve been a relief, but it actually served to keep me on edge. If I didn’t know what to expect from Ash from one minute to the next, then how could I defend against it? The confusion left me vulnerable, unable to choose the proper armor, because I didn’t know which side of him needed to be fended off. I found myself shouting, “No!” when all he’d said was, “The kids are looking forward to this.” The room full of people had stopped to stare at the crazy man.Me.
I suspected his actions were calculated; even then, I questioned it. One thing I did know was that Ash didn’t play mind games.Maybe I am the crazy man.
I’d returned home that evening and went straight to bed where I had my brightest idea yet.Sex.That’s what I needed. Wash Ash out of my system. With The Center, my booming business, and my involvement in Pete’s life, time was no longer on my side, and sex had taken a backseat.It has nothing to do with Ash.
When I received a serendipitous call from the owner of a condominium my company helped build asking me for the third time for a date, I’d agreed. I had little interest in the bells and whistles that came with dating, which is why I’d always politely turned him down. But at this point, if sitting through a meal and dull conversation ended with him on his back, I would play the long game.
I had suggested my comfortable place, a burger joint with great selections on tap. He insisted on something fancier near the downtown area. I’d refused, but he pitched it as a potential investment opportunity he wanted my opinion on. I never liked mixing business with pleasure, but again, the long game.
Could I have a one-night stand with Ash?One where we weren’t cramped in a bathroom stall and had the time to see it through? To gorge ourselves on the other and then be rid of the ever-heightening lust once and for all? It would be a lie to say I wasn’t attracted to him. It appeared we were polar opposites, in lifestyles and personalities, but gazing at myself in that bathroom mirror, suited but emotionally bare, caused an unavoidable stripping of denial. If we were so much as in the same building, the chemistry crackled between us, attempting to bring my restraint to its knees. The cacophony of sounds would drown out over the racing of my heart. And seeing him step up and help my cause when I could imagine his spare time to be already limited with his work andhiscause—well, what better recipe for love? But I’d loved once before. Hard. And in return I suffered a betrayal so severe that now, if I wasn’t outright running from it, I was hiding.
Not wanting to be hurt again was a clichéd cover for the truth. The truth? I’d lost something fundamental to me the day Hayden left me, shattering all hope for our planned future. The me-of-now was untrusting. My doubt would eat at the patience of a saint. My rage would burn all bridges and decimate a heart that came to me whole. If anyone would be doing the hurting, it would be me. I’d be a dangerous thing to love.
So, a one-night stand with Ash? I looked myself in the eye in that mirror and knew the answer to that question was,if he would let me go after.
Because if walking away would require a fight, I wasn’t strong enough to win.
PLUTOand I made our way over to Justin’s. He was babysitting for the night. “Hey,” he said, opening the door and gesturing for us to come in. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a suit.”
“You haven’t.” I tugged at the collar that threatened to close off my airway.
“Well, you look dapper. The gray and brown combo brings out your eyes.”
I believed he was teasing me. I popped the button on the jacket and dropped to the sofa. “Thanks. Where’s Damon?”
With his white hair piled into his signature bun, he sauntered barefoot into the kitchen and returned with two beverages. I held my hand up, declining. He sat on the loveseat across from me, Pluto hopping up beside him. “He’s got an early session with Julie in the morning, so he's staying at the condo in Kisla.”
Dr. Julie Hayes was Damon and Justin’s therapist. Top ranked in her field. It showed in the progress they both were making in the short time I’d known them. “How are things right now?” I sat forward, resting my elbow on my knees. Each day that passed, my friendship with Justin became more important to me.
“We had a breakthrough,” he said vaguely and left it at that. Whatever they’d dealt with wasn’t to be taken lightly, but he wouldn’t be giving me the details.
“That’s good.” Damon and I had gotten off to a rocky start, and theDamonpart of him would always hold the kiss Justin and I shared against me, but I longed to see him as whole as possible. Better. Whatever better would look like for him. “He’ll never forgive me, will he?”
“Damon knows you’re a good man. There will always be a part of him that gets triggered by someone else’s hands on me.” He smirked. “It was my fault. Not yours.”
“You were in a bad place. No one can blame you for what happened.” I stood and walked over to squeeze his shoulder, then ran a hand over Pluto’s sleeping form. “I’ll get him in the morning.”
