Page 79 of Surviving the Break
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for filling my emptiness. Please let me fill yours.
It went on and on as I made my way around. I stumbled backward when it clicked that Max had made me aThank You Table.
Near the center, letters formed a sort of crop circle, and I contorted my head to capture what they spelled out.I love you a thousand times.
In the center of the table written in large font, under a beautifully carved crown, were the words,Thank you for being my Worth It.
I turned to run, not knowing where to, just as long as it led me to Max, but he stood by the steps, watching me with his hands shoved in his back pockets. “Damon gave me the code.” His voice shook. My gaze went back to the table and then to him.
“You once said that something vital to making a house a home felt missing here and that once you figured out what that vital thing was, you’d fill this space. I’m hoping that missing piece is me.” His eyes were red-rimmed, and his lips trembled. “Can I come home? Please.”
“Yes.” I ran and collided with him, fusing our mouths together, feeling life return to me. We fell onto the stairs, tearing each other's clothes away.
“I love you,” he said every time our lips parted.
“I love you too.” I sucked at his neck, plying him with my mark as we moved naked against one another.
“Oh, God. I’ve missed you.” His hands roamed my back, gripping my ass as I lay on top of him. I was sure the steps bit into him uncomfortably, but he didn’t complain.
“Never leave me,” I begged, pulling his hair and staring wildly into his eyes.
“Never,” he vowed. I kissed him again, biting at his lips until blood spilled.
He protested when I stood, but I pulled him up and into my arms, and he wrapped his legs around me. I grabbed the lube from behind the couch cushion, then carried him to my table, laying him on top of all that love. An overwhelming flood of gratitude poured over me.
“Thank you,” he said, and I nodded, unable to speak. “No, I can’t wait,” he panted when my finger found his hole.
“Are you sure?”
“Fuck me, now.”
I poured some over myself and attempted to inch into him slowly, but he pressed me forward with the heels of his feet, forcing me into him on one go.“God,”I groaned. I’d forgotten what heaven felt like with him gone. My cock twitched, and his hole sucked me in.
“Move,” he begged.
From our positions on the table, his head rested right under the carved crown. So fitting. With my chest plastered to his, and his arms wrapped around me, I made love to him patiently and kissed him just the same. Breaking apart, he gazed into my eyes and whispered, “I don’t promise to love you until I stop loving you—”
“I promise to love you even when it’s the hardest thing to do.”
We made love all night and every night after. And from that day on, when sleep found me, a new vista would come to me in my dreams. One of me and Max, holding hands and kissing under a tree in a park with a baby in a stroller nearby. I could never tell if it was a baby boy like in Max’s picture. I found the not knowing exciting. I would give him that. I would give him everything. Forever.
EPILOGUE
MAX
Five years later
“No, Ash. We don’t have time.” I dodged his grasp and dashed into the penthouse kitchen, circling the island. We’d been playing this game of cat and mouse for the last fifteen minutes.
“Max, I’ve been going to therapy for the last two years, and I can’t remember the last time I had a nightmare.” He shot an arm out to grab me, and I jumped back, racing into the living room. “I can afford to miss a session.”
I backed up slowly with my hands raised in front of me to hold him off. “Remember why you agreed to therapy in the first place? We’re in the home stretch here. The stress from the months to come could cause you to regress.” My back hit the stone fireplace, and Ash smirked triumphantly, removing his clothes as he moved closer to me. Ash and I moved in together soon after we’d reconciled years ago, but we kept the penthouse since it was close to the hospital and clinic. After a long night of deliveries at the hospital, I didn’t like Ash making the drive back to our house, and when he had scheduled deliveries within a few hours of each other, it was easier for him to come back here to shower and rest. We split our time in both places.
His hard, naked body pressed against my clothed one. The moisture from his precum soaked through my white t-shirt, leaving a warm sticky circle on my stomach. “I already canceled.” He held a finger against my mouth before I could argue. “You’re nervous, and you want everything to be perfect. You’ve waited to be a father your whole life, and you’re afraid that somehow the privilege is going to be taken away from you, again.” He tipped my head back with his nose to my chin to suck a hickey onto my neck while he unbuttoned my jeans.
I couldn’t release the tension in my body. I’d been strung tight for several weeks. Ash and I had spent the first few years of our relationship ensuring that it was solid. Meshing our lives together. Finding a rhythm, enjoying each other. Then came talks of marriage and children. It’d taken some time for me to agree to the latter. So afraid of being struck by loss, again. “But—”
