Page 9 of Surviving the Break
I did as he’d asked and got straight to the point. “What’s the deal with Ash?”
He dropped his foot from the circular ottoman between us and pushed up from his slouched position. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, is he involved with someone?” I held a hand up to stop his sly grin in its tracks. “Not because I’m interested. It’d just be great to know if I’m going crazy or if he is in fact flirting with me.”
Justin jerked back. “You told me you hadn’t said more than a handful of words to each other.”
I made a so-so gesture with my hand. “More or less. But he stopped by The Center a couple weeks ago to sit in on one of my classes, then requested I put him on the schedule one day a week. I hadn’t, hoping he’d be too busy to notice, but this morning I received a follow-up text.” I gave him a pointed look, and he had the decency to flush.
“Oh yeah, he did ask me for your number.”
“I told him to come in tomorrow.” I ran a hand through my hair.
“I’m not seeing the problem.”
“He asked if I was free to grab a drink with him afterward.” I sighed when he frowned, still not getting it. I had zero intention of telling Justin about my hookup with Ash. And I didn’t need him playing matchmaker. My life felt complicated enough. “Look, I have no problem asking him myself, but I’d like to avoid coming off as a paranoid idiot who’s full of himself, if I can help it. One embarrassing situation in a one-month period is more than enough.” I could’ve kicked myself when he paled. I didn’t do relationships, but when Justin came to town, I thought,he seems safe enough.Gorgeous, but far from my type. No way would I get invested. I preferred men who were overwhelming in stature and dominant in nature. I enjoyed power struggles.
Justin forgot to mention one important detail before we kissed. He was married. The ordeal reinforced what I already knew to be true but had allowed my libido and loneliness to override at the time. I couldn’t allow anyonein. The risk for betrayal was too high.
“Is what I did the reason you’d be opposed to getting involved with Ash? Did my actions compound an already sensitive issue?” He searched my face.
“No,” I lied. No need to make him feel worse. “And I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves.IfAsh’s intentions stray further than wanting friendship, I will be shutting him down. I just wanted to know if I’m being paranoid.” My breakup and fleeing from Kentucky, and the debacle of kissing Justin, left me unable to confidently rely on my instincts. I now questioned everything.
His lips thinned from disappointment. Maybe seeing me with someone would’ve relieved his guilt behind lying to me. Well, he’d have to ease his conscience some other way. “Ash has never been in a relationship, so no, he isn’t seeing anyone.”
Damn it. He’d told me as much that night at the bar.“I’d love nothing more than to be in a committed relationship.”I’d hoped he’d maybe found someone since then. I stood to leave. I’d have to have an upfront conversation with Ash. “Come on, Pluto.”
“Max?” Justin called out. “Ash is pretty determined. You’d better hold firm because if he sees you’re interested, he won’t let up.”
4
ASH
Ipushed through the revolving doors of my apartment building's entrance and gave the doorman, Mr. Downing, a nod. He tipped his hat and bowed his balding head, all too aware of what it meant when I got home at this hour. Three of my patients had decided to go into labor today.
The sound of my shoes clicking on the white marble floor ricocheted through the quiet lobby. Walking past the bank of elevators, I stopped at my private elevator and entered my code into the gold-paneled keypad, getting a brief glimpse at my drawn reflection through the steel doors before they swooshed open. Inside, I hit the only option available,penthouse, then leaned against the mirrored wall, struggling to keep my eyes from closing.
I entered into the foyer and headed straight for the washroom, immediately removing my clothes and stuffing them into a laundry bag. I had a thing about dragging hospital germs through the apartment.
As I washed away the aches under the shower’s hot water jets, I mulled over the day’s events. Being a doctor hadn’t always been my life’s ambition. I had wanted to be a professional athlete. It didn’t matter which sport; I was good at anything I tried, winning championships for both football and basketball. Even earning a scholarship to a baseball camp one summer while in junior high school. My coach named me “The Quadruple Threat.”
My athleticism came from my father. His love of sports was one of the only real things I knew about him prior to meeting him. I used to fantasize about making pro, about everyone knowing my name.Ashton Jackson, All Star.That he’d hear about me from wherever he was in the world and come find me. That he’d be both proud and sorry that he walked out on us. For him, I wanted to be worth knowing. All of that shattered at age twelve when my mother aided in finding him, and soon after, the moon I’d hung him from came crashing down.Sometimes, the myth is better than the reality.
My career path shifted after Damon’s baby brother, who I also considered a brother, was murdered. Suddenly, everything I’d done prior and wanted to do in the future became pointless. Benjamin was taken out of this world, and since then, anything other than helping to bring life into it seemed frivolous.
After getting out and drying off, I tossed the towel aside and ventured farther into the apartment. The masculine decor consisted of black marbled surfaces and dark wood flooring and cabinetry, but the penthouse patio was what sold me. Accessible from the living and kitchen area, it housed a steam room, Jacuzzi, and swimming pool. Glass-enclosed, the surrounding doors were retractable during the warmer months.
I stared off, hoping I wouldn’t end up in there at some point during the night. I felt exhausted enough, but sometimes enough didn’t cut it, and my recurring nightmare would chase me until it had its claws in me. Swimming laps until my muscles liquefied would be my only option of getting back to sleep at that point.
Striding to the staircase on the opposite side of the kitchen, I ascended, relying on the steel railing for support.
I slid between the silk sheets and reached over for the surround system remote and put my classical playlist on low before turning my head toward the nightstand where my cellphone lay, containing the unanswered message I’d sent to Max earlier.
It’d been weeks since I sat in on his class, and I was no closer to understanding why my thoughts drifted to him at every spare opportunity since that day. To be honest, since that moment I strolled into that bar and laid eyes on him.
He had secrets. That much had been clear from that one unprotected moment of raw emotion he showed in the dance studio when he thought no one was looking. Our coincidental degrees of separation had to be indicative of something greater. Something worth exploring. At the very least, I wanted to get to know him. Maybe getting better acquainted with him would help to quell the building mystery around him. I’d see that Max was just an easygoing guy with an affinity for children and nothing more, and we could easily be friends.
Then I remembered the wounded look that passed before his brown gaze when I complimented him on the job he was doing with the kids, and I instantly wanted to solve him again. Immediately knowing there wasmore.His hidden pain made me want to protect the quietly confident, dominant man who handled me with an edge of excessive force in that restroom.
