Page 156 of Breaking the Pucking Rules
I raise a brow. “When did you become such a romantic?”
“I’m not. I just know that if there is one man on this planet that you want a happily ever after with, it’s Kodie freaking Rivers.”
“It’s a dream, Parker. A dream that I know will never come true.”
The strength of Parker’s cocktail helped me process those painfully truthful words a little better. But the reality is that they’re a bitter pill to swallow.
No matter how much I want Kodie, no matter how much fun we have, I’ll never be important enough. And I shouldn’t be.
I wasn’t that much older than Sutton is now when we lost Mom. It was awful, heartbreaking, confusing, and all I wanted was to have Dad around me twenty-four-seven.
As far as I know, Sutton hasn’t lost her mom. She’s just…absent. It’s not the same. But despite the differences, we’re both kids of single fathers and professional athletes. That’s hard. Really fucking hard.
I can’t even begin to imagine what it would have been like if Dad had met someone. If he’d allowed someone else into our little family unit.
As much as I want Kodie, there is no way I want to be the woman who comes between him and Sutton. Their bond is so special, unbreakable. I would hate for either of them to feel like I was threatening that.
“You’ve got man problems, haven’t you?” Freya asks after we’ve been sitting silently for a little over ten minutes.
Parker is on the other side of the yard with Reese and a couple of the other women. Every now and then, their laughter floats over to us, but I’m nowhere near intrigued enough to go and find out what they’re laughing about.
Kodie is now out of the pool and drinking beer with Linc and Fletch while Sutton plays with Monroe, Killer, and Handsy, along with some of the other kids.
Dragging my eyes to the quiet girl beside me, I contemplate lying. But what’s the point? She knows.
“Isn’t it always,” I mutter, lifting my drink to my lips.
It’s just soda. After the cocktails Parker made earlier, I need it.
“Yeah,” she muses, sadly.
“You want to talk about it?” I offer.
She shakes her head.
It’s been quite a few years since Freya and I spent any real time together. I don’t know all that much about the man who’s recently broken her heart other than what I’ve read online, but I see just how much he’s hurt her.
“Men are jerks,” I offer up, making her laugh.
“Amen to that,” she agrees, holding her cup up for me to tap mine against. “Who needs one, anyway?”
My eyes automatically drift back to Kodie.
Me.
But I don’t need just any man.
I need him.
37
KODIE
Draining my bottle of beer, I sit back and watch Sutton playing with some of my teammate’s kids with a wide smile on her face.
Like always, my stomach knots with self-doubt.
I do everything I can for Sutton. But I’ll forever be worried it’s not enough.
