Page 101 of Judas

He whispers, like he’s scared of Kace overhearing him.

Lifting a hand, my fingers swipe over my cheeks. Sure enough, tears are tracking down them. No—no, I don’t want Kace to kill Lucien. Damn him for being right—I hate it when he is.

“I won’t let him hurt you, Lulu.”

“Huh?” Kace questions me, keeping his distance.

“No. I don’t want you to.”

The little boy next to me smiles, missing a few teeth in the front of his mouth where his baby ones have fallen out. When he disappears, I look over at Kace and steel my spine. Lucien will be punished, but the world is done hurting the boy inside of him.

“Tell me what happened in the pit.”

Advisory

If you have read Chapter 31 in Babalon, then you know what this page means.

The next chapter covers Nadia’s assault from Kace’s POV. At the time of writing this, I have yet to finish writing the full manuscript for Judas. That said, I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. You may be re-triggered by the contents, so please take caution.

While none of the acts are rewritten in this chapter, it’s still heavy and I want you to mind your mental health. I don’t necessarily think you have to skip this chapter, but if you choose to do so, it will not take away from the rest of Judas.

Triggers

Grief, helplessness, near-death experience, anguish, regret, self-depreciation (lite), and self-blame.

Chapter thirty-five

Havok

Past

“If only you had that same devotion and love for your God, you may not be in this predicament, Kace,” Lucien scoffs, nimble fingers moving along the phone before he shoves it into his back pocket.

Wish this crazy fuck would shut the hell up already. Out of all the trash he’s talked about since he came to Darkwater, I can denounce that the shit just likes hearing himself ramble—like lots of other crooked religious wacks. He could preach to a brood of chickens or a nest of snakes and believe he’s getting through to them. Neurotic psycho.

He goes back to pulling on the chains he wrapped around me while I poured everything out to Nadia. I’m not going to lie, I’mfrantic over what she’s going to go through emotionally when I don’t resurface. Dying? That’s not a problem for me. It is what it is. Her, though? Fuck… she’s going to break.

Lucien’s foot is against the back of my chair again. When he jerks on the chains, I hear and feel a crack that pops through the right side of my chest. My lungs tighten shortly after when it seems like something is digging into that delicate tissue. Pain radiates deep inside of me, making it harder to breathe but I keep doing it anyway. Sounds like a bag of tiny pebbles are rattling around a plastic container with every gasp.

Time escapes me; new pain replaces the previous, stretching from head to the tips of my toes. Although I can’t feel much of anything beyond the outermost layer of skin, I can sense the sweat gathering on my forehead and in front of my ears—mingling with the strands now out of place. There’s enough moisture where I’m at that I can deduce it’s humid in here, even more so as droplets trickle down my neck then seep into my jumper and undershirt. I could hear the trickling water dripping from the open drains in the ceiling when I first woke up, however, my focus was elsewhere.

“Say it,” I tease her.

Owing Matias big for keeping the other guards off Nadia’s case and busy enough to not ask where the fuck I’m at is minuscule when compared to having this invaluable time with her. The restraints of prison life will be a constant burden to our relationship, but if it means getting to feel her in my hands, kiss her smart fucking mouth, and giving my all to her heart, sign me the hell up. She’s worth it— every painstaking headache, annoyance, and extra duty.

Leaning against the countertop I just fucked her over, a smirk stretches across my mouth as I watch her try to fix her hair. My secret at this moment? I enjoyed fucking up her perfectly placedhairstyle. Getting to see how she looks from all angles after making her come apart for me has my attachment to the snake running deep. So fucking deep, in fact, I can feel it beginning to curl around my soul. Flexing and squeezing, working over the shimmering thing until its light has been shielded from the prying eyes of nosey onlookers.

I’m so fucking in love with her; the way she makes prison seem more tolerable is incredible. Even though she’s always a part of the problem, trading is out of the question—unless she’s tied to me, that is. Nadia’s given so much to me already, but it’s not enough—I need more, everything. Nothing will satisfy the hunger sitting inside of me, licking its fangs and lips for this woman. She has her claws dug so far in, yet the way I’ve weaved myself into her heart tells me I own her just as much as she owns me.

Nadia blushes at the teasing. She’s trying her hardest to ignore me standing here with my arms crossed, unabashedly staring at her as if she is the most exquisite thing ever to grace the surface of earth. I’m biased as hell, okay? To me, she is. I’ve had my fair share of women; she plugs the holes, though. Whether that be with her scrawny fingers or her sharp tongue.

She has her uniform back in place, meticulous over the placement—so anal. Surprising to see her dedication, to be honest, especially since she typically comes in here and acts like nothing bothers her nor will it. Seeing the woman outside of the uniform, and not just in a sexual sense, leaves me speechless.

Fuck me, I need her.

Taking a single step to the side, I unfold my arms as I move. I can’t help but reach for her and push a strand of hair back that didn’t quite make it into her ponytail. Vicious thing turns and swings at me, slapping my hand away while I jump back and throw both in the air. Surrendering.

Feigning surprise, I quip, “My bad, I was just fixing it!”

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