Page 104 of Judas

More, there’s always more for me to confess—I need to keep going.

Pressing a kiss to her head, tears slick across my chest and her face, I maintain a lower tone.

“Yes, baby, I’ve curated every aspect of your life since then. Matias got me to Xavier. Xavier gave me the shelter and help I needed, just like I said. From there, Fury—“

She cuts me off. “F… fuck, not Fury too. W… was anyone in my life th… there because they… wanted to be?” Her words are broken up by desperate attempts to breathe through sobbing.

“You fostered friendships on your own, Nadia. I only facilitated the meeting. Fury’s job was to protect you and she still would have, regardless if you were friends or not.”

She doesn’t object to that. I’m sure this is overwhelming as hell, considering the situation we’ve been in for days now and the months since she went to her release hearing.

“Xavier got a hold of my mom and told her what happened to the both of us. She still believes that I’m dead, which it has to stay that way. All of this kicked off the second you were taken into custody, but I didn’t find out about your pregnancy until later. My mom took care of everything. Made sure youhad plenty of money on your books, even paid off all of your remaining medical debt.”

Nadia jolts with small shakes, her breaths sharp, and my heart aches more. By the time she escapes me and our life, there won’t be anything left.

I’m about to check on her when she mumbles, “Ironic.”

“Hmm?”

“Always wondered how I had money. The fact that your mom put it on my books, when I would steal yours… it’s just kinda ironic.”

“Ahh, yeah. Very.”

“Kace? Did she watch my trial?”

Goddamnit.

My head leans back for a second, searching the ceiling for better answers than the one I had. When it doesn’t provide, I just let it come out.

“Yes. I don’t know her opinion on it, but I know she watched it. She grieved me heavily for years, and still does from time to time. So does my sister. My dad? He’s… well, he’s fucked up, too. Blames himself for leaving his son without a proper parental figure. He chose to leave and my mom was a good woman. There’s nothing inherently wrong with me, he didn’t see it that way.”

“Oh,” she responds. Disappointment evident in how she speaks. I wish I had more for her. We just can’t go back to that life; not only because the judge said I couldn’t if I agreed to the pardon, but being a ghost will cause a whole lot of ruckus.

“Sorry, love. When they found out about Sadie, they made sure she wanted for nothing—well, at least the things money can cover. They didn’t want to interfere with her life, only wanted to make it less stressful and to honor your wishes. Little did they know.”

“So, what… what did they do then?”

“Mom’s covered all of Sadie’s psychologist appointments and medication. The therapist said her father’s insurance paid for everything. But when I pulled up the accounting records, he hasn’t had insurance on her since she was about seven years old. He kept it on him and Victoria, but not Sadie.”

“That’s when the voices showed up, isn’t it…” her now softer voice trails.

“Yeah, according to her medical records,” I answer. My hands idly run up and down her back and one thigh to keep her grounded and comfortable with me.

“What else did they throw money at? Sounds like that’s what they do to fix problems rather than addressing them. They could have fought for custody.”

“Dad has a college fund set up for her and for other kids like her in Michigan. All anonymous. Wherever they go to school, it will be a full ride, Sadie included. If that’s what she wants, of course. Should she rather travel the world and drag us with her, it will happen.”

“How?”

“That part I can’t disclose, baby. Please don’t fight me on it. I’ll never tell you. Not because I don’t think you can’t handle it, you absolutely could, just want to keep you safe. All I’ve ever wanted.”

A sigh lets me know she’s not going to press. Thank the fucking stars.

“They also paid for all of your legal representation. Through the trial and until you were released. Uh, additionally…”

“Alright, I don’t like the fucking sound of that,” Nadia blurts, hopping off my lap like I’m a fucking snake.

She’s on her feet, standing just a few feet away from me, hands on her hips that have widened from her pregnancy. Even if she’s annoyed right this second, my dick stirs. I can’t help how my anatomy responds to her—she’s got a hold on me. A proverbialleash around my neck that I take off and use on her any time we’re naked.

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