Page 134 of Judas
“Original.”
“Nice, the terrible graphics are what made that movie a classic. See you around, Miss.”
That was Lana. She’s been Sadie’s dietary aid for the past few days now. Always nice to talk to her, even if it’s only for a brief moment before she goes on about her shift. One day she will remember these conversations and share them with people who she cares about. I know we will never come back here, we will be on the opposite end of the country and over a border. But it’s nice to know that you impact someone, somehow.
“Sadie, baby. Wake up. Your lunch is here.”
It amuses me to no end when I can’t get her to stir; gives me glimpses of the kind of younger teenager she was prior to being taken off her meds. I'll still be holding that over Kace’s head—he made her feel like she was losing herself again. That’s a year's penance for every day she felt like that due to him. Giving my phone a toss to the foot of the bed, I gently finish rousing Sadie by rubbing her upper arm to her shoulder and down.
“Come on, sleepy head. It’s going to get cold then it’s going to taste worse.”
She groans and I don’t let her escape this time. Lifting the blankets off her upper half, laying them down over her legs. The staff allowed me to put her in her own clothes when I showed up a few days ago. Brat took my The Police shirt from me—fine, it was hers first, but I claimed it. It’s one of the only things that she has left of her childhood home.
The perfume I stole, she told me to throw away. Wants to start over. A new life, a new style soon, new smell, washing her hands of the family trauma she’s going to do her best to work through.I’m so damn proud of how strong she is, wish I had an ounce of her sturdiness. I’d be one hell of a force then.
Escaping the bed, I take a peek at her food and grimace. This is how they keep people in the hospital—feeding them trash like this. What are these, blanched canned vegetables from the Second World War? Jesus Christ. And the loaf of meat? That looks like roadkill. She has better luck surviving off of vending machine food.
“You know what, sugar. Don’t worry about eating this shit. It looks like it might give you food poisoning.”
“Didn’t plan on it. I got this instead.”
Placing the lid down and returning to her, I’m shocked when the sneaky thing pulls out an entire bag of goodies. Snack cakes, beef jerky, dried fruit, nuts, and entirely too many bags of Lays. My hands go to my hips, feigning disappointment at her stash.
“Where did you get all that?”
“Babel. He brought it with him last night when he came back. Said if I had to eat another day's worth of hospital gruel he’d break me out of here himself.”
“Got you a friend in him, don’t you?”
“Yeah, he’s legit. Overbearing sometimes but when I’m cracking, he’s there.”
Joining her, I snag a bag of dried fruit and peel it open when she gets to work on beef jerky.
“What happens when we get out of here?” She asks, mouth full of dried meat like she has zero manners. I swear if she starts acting like her dad and barking, I might lose it between the both of them.
“I’m not sure what the entire plan is, but we are going to Pennsylvania next.”
“Why there?”
“That’s where home is now. Is that alright with you? We can get you back into school when you’re ready. So you can finishstrong and do whatever you want to do in life. Which, by the way, what is it you’d like to do?”
Sadie slows her munching, looking down at her hands in an embarrassed sort of way. Strikes my curiosity, what sorts of dreams does she have that may make her ashamed? Oh god, don’t tell me she wants to do something that costs more money than sense. If we have to buy a ship or some other type shit because she wants to sail the seas—we may have to revisit the gameplan. Like, simulations or something.
“I want to be a psychologist. Help people like me.” She sounds so timid and that angers me. Fuck whoever told her she couldn’t, or wouldn’t be good at it, or what the hell ever—whoever put doubt into her head.
“I love that idea, Sadie.”
Scouts honor, Mario Andretti just dropped into my kid, with how fast she whipped around and looked at me. Doe-like blue eyes nearly brimming with tears stare at me. The way her nose turns pink when she’s getting ready to cry is so damn endearing. She’s perfect in my eyes, I wouldn’t change a thing about her that she wouldn’t want to change.
“Really?” She asks with a near choked breath.
“Yes, Sadie. I think you’d be a fantastic Psychologist. People need someone who understands, and if there is anyone who does, it’s you.”
“I love you, mom.”
“I love you more.”
We wrapped up lunch soon after that and I knew if I didn’t come down a few floors and see Kace he’d likely send up a SWAT team to get my ass. Since he couldn’t be patient enough for me to visit Sadie, I made him wait longer. Also didn’t announce myself when I walked into his hospital room, where I am now staring at him as he drags his jeans up over that bubbly backside of his. Ischool my gawking and look at the bruising on his ribs and neck. Thankfully the neck tattoos hide some of the damage, but the ribs are all me. I did that.
