Page 141 of Judas

To be fair, he deserves it.

I chose to stay in bed a bit longer. My body needs the extra rest to be frank, especially with how fucking sore my ribs are. Last night added to my discomfort but there’s no fucking way I was passing up the opportunity to love on Nadia. I’ll suffer through any and all pain just to feel her lose herself wrapped around me like she did. Feels so damn good, can’t wait until I’m deep inside her again.

In the middle of the night I got up out of bed, well, I struggled to get up. Rolled onto my side, where I typically like to sleep, and the blinding pain that raced through me nearly had me vomiting everywhere. Nadia was up in an instant, helping me move about and placed a few more pillows around me to keep me from rolling. I ended up sleeping propped like some old man.

You are old.

I am old.

Hope it doesn’t hurt that much when I go to get out of bed, which is now. Drawing in a breath, feeling my lungs begin to press on my dislocated ribs, I stop my inhale then move hastily. Shifting, my legs swing over the side of the bed and dangle downto the floor. Feet press into the long fibers of the plush carpet right as they curl and grip the plastic like hairs.

Exhaling out a groan, I reach for my ribs that are smarting again. This shit is terrible. I don’t really remember the pain being this bad when Lucien fucked me up, but they do say your nerves get a bit more sensitive as you age. Fucking great. Just what I need, being a little bitch.

Running my hands through my hair, I lean forward enough to push my elbows into the top of my knees. I need to sit here for a moment. Think about all of the steps we are going to take today and how the girls are going to handle making a pit stop to see Matias before we head home.

Home.

Finally getting to take my girls home. It’s right on the tips of my fingers, at the cusp, and I can’t fucking wait. If it wasn’t for a few loose ends, we’d be on the jet in the matter of an hour— getting us away from this damn place.

It’s quiet in this apartment right now, everyone out, feels suffocatingly lonely again. And the longer I sit here, the more I’m going to dwell on this shit so, guess it’s time to get the hell up.

Padding over to the closet, I rip a long sleeve shirt off a hanger and drag it on. The muscles around my torso scream in protest at the stretch. Reminding me that I either need to be shirtless until I heal or wear something where I don’t need to reach over my head to put it on or take it off. Next is a pair of jeans, socks, my boots, vest, followed by a jacket that I unceremoniously toss onto the bed and walk into the bathroom.

Nadia has everything packed up and ready to go. Her bag which she shares with Sadie is swollen with their toiletries, then my bag next to it is vastly smaller. The only thing left out is our toothbrushes and toothpaste. I’ll have to load this shit up later this afternoon, probably once I get back from picking themup. Initially, we planned on leaving right after dropping off the payload but she decided there was something more important to do before we skip town.

Whatever she wants, she can have. Therefore, I’m getting both of them once I’m done with the Carnifex transport. There is no reason to wait any longer.

Only takes me a few minutes to brush my teeth then run some water through my hair to tame it a bit, and I’m out the door clearing the steps two at a time. Downstairs, there’s a coffee waiting for me at the counter. The young kid I talked to the other day has had one ready for me ever since we talked about that gaming system I want to get Sadie. There's already one sitting at the house ready to go for her, Matias hooked her up with the game she requested plus a few more. Java in hand, I step outside and come face to face with Babel. He’s nursing his own cup of joe, which I hope isn’t the trash from the hospital. That shit was like drinking burnt and stale dirt water. Almost like someone forgot to wash the dirt off of the coffee bean plant before roasting it.

“Morning.” I say, and he grunts at me.

Well, urggh to you too, fucker.

“Load up, I want this shit over with in the next two hours. Not going to let it waste any more of my fucking time.”

“Understood.” He grumbles.

And he says I’m the surly one.

Crossing the street, we both fold into the SUV and take off in the matter of moments. No music, no talking, just road noise and the occasional clicking of the blinker, or sip of coffee. Gives me time and space to think, not that I like doing much of it. Outside of planning out jobs, I act on instinct and the need to survive—nothing else. Now that I have Nadia and Sadie back in my life things are going to change drastically and that’s what I’m going to struggle with the most.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not them being around that’s going to require adjustment. It’s my occupation. Nadia doesn’t want me to be a violent son of a bitch anymore and there’s no way I want to disappoint her. I just don’t know what to do in the meantime. What path do I take now? Do I return to a fucking nine to five? More underground shit? That’s what I’m going to stress over the most. Money isn’t an issue, I just get bored sitting at the house all the time. Suppose I won’t now, but once Nadia goes back to work—if she wants to—then I’ll need to find something to do.

Fuck, what if she wants me to come out of hiding? Lord knows I want to put a ring on her finger, but ‘Havok’ doesn’t have a last name. She wants Kace, fuck me, I want to be Kace. Last night, I saw the way she looked at me. Partially in longing for the man I was, then hopeful for the man I am now. I can’t sever either of them from who I am, so she’s going to have to deal with both I guess. Hybrid asshole, Havok Patton? Meh, we will work on that.

In the long run, if she wants me to come back out to the rest of the world—tell them I’m alive, then I will. The judge that wiped my slate clean will be pissed off but he’ll have to get the fuck over it. It’s not like he can get me for shit I was already convicted of, double jeopardy and all. The problem lies in dealing with the governor because once he figures out I’m alive, I doubt he will ever stop coming for me. I took his precious daughter away, even if he’s since replaced her with another—she was the apple of his eye. Just like Sadie is mine.

“You’re thinking too damn much.” Babel mutters.

“Fuck off.” It’s my turn to be a shithead.

He ignores me, as he should, and launches into the plan to deal with Lucien from here on out. We still have a little bit of a drive, getting us closer to the outskirts of town, so now is as good a time as ever. Once we are there, there’s a possibility that they won’t show up for a few more hours, or could show up within five minutes—we will never know. Never see them coming.

“When we get there—“ he begins, only to stall out as he takes a drink of his coffee. “Don’t be surprised if he’s as mad as a cut snake. Sort of trussed him up poetically.”

“That so?”

“Mhm.”

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