Page 145 of Judas

Placing the end of the joint between his lips, he assists Sadie out of the window as she gasps for fresh air and I jump off the ledge right behind them. A crunching sound comes from the pavement as my boots press onto the shattered glass. The squabbling and writhing kittens adding to the madness.

With watering eyes, and a flushed face, Sadie finally gets a better gasp of air. Her hands lift over her head to expand her lungs some, allowing more fresh air to flood her chest. When she’s ready, she takes both pillow cases and joins Babel at his SUV where he helps her pull out each of the kittens and looks each of them over to check for any injuries. All while Sadie drags the one she claimed out to hold and cuddle.

He’s good for her, a complete stranger showing her that there are still people out there who will treat her with care and respect without asking for anything in return or having to have some sort of connection with her. It’s funny seeing them though, he holds his own but I think she digs under his skin sometimes. I see him cutting his eyes towards her like he’s ready to scold herfor something. If there is one thing I know about her, thus far, it’s that she’s probably giving him hell.

Like mother, like daughter.

Sadie was concerned with finding homes for the kittens when we concocted this entire plan. Kace and I originally decided to deliver them to a no-kill shelter somewhere around the area where they could be assessed and adopted out. Then Babel piped up, saying something about taking them back to Oregon with him and finding homes. Apparently there are a lot of farms in the northern side, well out of the cities, that could use barn cats. I’m sure there are shelters-a-plenty out that way but at this point Sadie could plot world domination and he’d support her. He made a promise and I’m going to make sure he follows through with it. I won’t let anyone fail her again—ever.

Turning away from them, my eyes narrow at Kace as he puffs on the roach pinched between his fingers—still smirking at me like some loon concocting a devious plan. He tilts his head up and blows out a plume of smoke before trying to hand the thing over to me, which I wave him off. I’m a felon, if I ever get popped for a test I’ll be back in Bluitt before morning. I rather not risk anything at this point, not after disappearing for weeks when I should have reached a halfway house already.

“Are you serious right now? You could have blown up the whole building with us still inside with that thing, or set it on fire at the least.”

“I’d walk through the flames to get to you, babygirl, wouldn’t be the hardest thing I’ve done.”

“That’s beside the point, you—“

Grabbing my jaw with his right hand, he drags me to him where he speaks against my lips with a low growl. My boots barely keep up with the abrupt movement and threaten to let me tumble against him. No complaints there, he feels good against me.

“I heard you, don’t get ahead of yourself with that sharp tongue, Nadia.”

He presses the faintest kiss to my lips then gives me a nod before letting me go. Don’t believe I’ve ever experienced butterflies before but if there’s any way of describing the feeling I just had, that would be it.

Steal my breath, why don’t you.

Kace nods to the flare I have stuffed in my front pocket, which I completely forgot about in the midst of catching the clowder then scolding him. This is the last time I’m doing anything like this, it takes me back too far and brings back too many terrible memories but… it’s needed.

They say not to burn bridges. And while that sentiment may make a lot of sense to people, not wanting to sever ties they may need later, this is one connection I will never return to. This place, this time in my life, along with the shit beforehand. Moving forward in all of our lives begins here, setting this entire building—hell the entire block if necessary—ablaze. Ridding the apartment of evidence, snuffing out parts of ourselves that we will never get back, and finally chasing out the darkness with fire and flint.

“You sure everyone will be taken care of?” I ask, looking down at the flare I now hold in my hand, wrenching the cap off to expose the igniter under the protective plastic. Aiming it to the open window, I look over at Kace. The awe in his gaze makes my heart race, more than throwing the brick, more than lighting this whole damn place on fire. His assessing eyes drag up and down my body as his own now leans against the ass end of the car. Appreciating, stricken, and yearning.

“K… Kace?” Murmuring his name, wishing I could see myself from his eyes.

“Yea, baby. They’re taken care of. Everyone’s insurance is up to date and if they don’t have it, there’s an emergencyfund waiting for them to access. It will come from anonymous donators—won’t suspect a thing. Go ahead, light it up.”

That’s all I needed. Reassurance.

Sucking in a deep breath, and with a bit of force, I strike the flare and it erupts into a cloud of smoke and roaring fire. Instead of hurling it through the window, I walk up to it, the red glow of the blaze casts light across every surface I can see. Then, with a flick of my wrist, I send it into the center of the shop. It lands in a clatter, rolling up to the edge of fuel splattered along the tile. Fumes evaporating in the air the longer the gas lingers untouched, which I can see in a ghost-like movement above the fluid.

In a rush, the fire catches and it floods the building. Following the trail of liquid until everything glistens in the dancing light of oranges and yellows.

It’s beautiful.

Haunting.

Liberating.

Kace comes up behind me, sliding his tattooed hand along the small of my back and presses a kiss to the crown of my head. Stilling for a moment to run his nose into the silver streaked strands, drawing in a breath so deep I can feel his chest expand at my back.

Prior to the whole ordeal, he jammed the phone lines to give us a bit more time but it seems like that’s quickly dissipating as the screams of firetrucks start to ring out a few blocks away. It’s time to go. Feeling him squeeze my hip, we both turn and call out.

“Sadie!”

My chest fills with something akin to nirvana hearing both of our voices ring out for her. Something that always should have been and from now on will always be. She comes running over, clutching onto the kitten she’s dubbed as hers—leaving Babel behind to wrangle the rest into a carrier.

“What the fuck is that?” Kace grunts, seeing her with the four legged terror in her hand. “You take that thing right back to him.”

“Mom said I can have it.”

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