Page 55 of Judas

“Bring her out.” I don’t have the patience for this. When I kill her, after she takes Nadia out, then Sadie’s extra souls will hit the express lane back down to hell. There’s no need for meto fight them now. Pushing away from the counter, I wave the lunatic over and let her get a good look at what I’ve presented for Sadie. A younger guy, somewhere in his early twenty’s. I assume the other dead man is an older family member of his. They may have very well been looking for shelter but I decided not to take any chances. With another wave, Liz—er—Kate, saunters over and stands directly between me and the schmuck restrained to the table.

Leaning in, I cage her with an arm on each side, hands gripping the edge of the counter as I ghost my mouth near her ear. She’s vibrating with a sick sort of darkness—something deep inside me relishes the thought of winding it around my fingers so tight she begs for me to liberate her. I have a feeling Kate will bite, and it will fester. We can’t have that.

“I got this for you, Sadie. It’s safe to come out, I promise not to hurt you.”

My breath barely moves the strands of her hair which have been effectively glued to her face with the remnants of blood. However, the way she starts to tremble and breathe heavier lets me know my darling niece is back with me. I don’t wait; if I do, she will shut down and someone else will surface. This is her chore. She needs to do this because as much as I want the three of us dead, I still cannot kill the innocent.

Snatching a knife from the counter, the metal scratches across the top in that unsettling scrape, I hand it to her. Low and behold, I have to force her to take it. Lifting her hand and prying the fingers open, I close the digits around the hilt while staring down at her. Horrified pale-blue eyes full of tears.

“What are you doing to me, Lucien?” Sadie barely gets the words out in a loud enough pitch for me to hear, but I catch them anyway. I love the way her voice drenches my name in fear.

“So pretty when you’re scared, Sadie. It’s okay, I will walk you through everything. I see the longing in you. Wanting to beaccepted and not judged for being different. That’s all you want, isn’t it? You keep looking for someone who will understand how broken your mind feels sometimes and can help you find peace with it. I’ll be that for you, sweet girl, if you want me. You’ve gone far too long being watched, scrutinized, and vilified all because your psyche works differently than others. Let you in on a little secret, Sadie, mine does too—my brain is like yours. Letting me hear other voices, communicate with beings who don’t exist outside of my body. They treat me poorly sometimes, have me do bad things, but all is forgiven in the end. Do you want to belong somewhere where you’re understood? Be with people like you, who will choose you even when you’re screaming and fighting them? It can be us against the world, Sadie. There is no shame with me. I’ll protect you, teach you how to manage them without needing the medication—I’ll love you.”

If I had a heart, it would have broken then, seeing her crumble under the pure need to be accepted and adored. Hate that for her, honestly; it’s a weakness and something we will need to break sooner rather than later. As sure as the world is round, I doubt she will have the backbone needed to end Nadia’s life if I let her continue this way. Which is why we are here now, ready to carve into this person neither one of us know—ready for her to transgress.

“Wh… what do I have to do?”

“That’s my girl. You’re going to kill this man, and I’m going to help you do it.”

With one hand wrapped snugly around hers that’s holding the blade, I lift the other and cup under her chin. Holding her head straight, I press another soft kiss to her temple. She will watch what she does. The smell of blood covering her skin, the feel of her in my grasp, and the knowledge that this girl will finally be the fucking answer has my whole being throbbing.

“Sharp end down, sweet girl.”

When she complies, I smile. Not having to do much to get her to press the blade to the man's neck. My heart’s beating so hard it’s about to fly out of my throat but we aren’t stopping now. Not when I’ve waited forty years to belong to someone as much as they belong to me.

“I’m going to put pressure, then I want you to drag it back alright?”

“O… kay.”

She takes a deep breath, I hold her steady, then apply pressure. With a long drag, the knife splits his skin wide—his eyes open in a panic and he starts to thrash. Fighting his restraints, the instinctive need to reach for and stem the bleeding. His lifeforce spills everywhere but we don’t stop. I push her hand down harder; she tries to escape the unnatural feeling of taking a life but I keep her in place. Pushing my body into the back of hers until she’s pinned between me and the counter top. The blade sinks further down into his neck before she’s pulled it back far enough for us both to let it go and drop to the floor.

“L… Lucie…n,” she stammers. The hot tears that were once pooled in her eyes are now dripping down her cheeks and out of the corners—soaking into some of my own dark strands while I hold her.

The way she is breathing against me, erratic and consumed with horror and anxiety. Almost to the point she’s hyperventilating. She needs to relax before she passes out in my arms and I have to wait around for her to come back to me. She isn’t done—she still has to dismember the body. Unraveling my hand from her chin, I choose to wrap both arms around her and rest mine on the crook of her neck.

Second hug.

“Shhhh, you did so well. I’m proud of you, sweet girl. Try to breathe for me, okay? In through your nose, out through yourmouth. I promise it will get easier with time.” Sadie leans slightly and the tears from before morph into sobs. Her body shakes as she fights to breathe and fucking hell it’s pathetic.

Lulu—

Yes, Mother?

Be gentle, she’s a little girl.

With Sadie wrapped up in her hysterics, she doesn’t see me roll my eyes. If Mother would stop coddling her, we would have gotten this over and done with already. Because I would have forced her to do it in one of the hotels we stayed in on our drive to Canada. The only reason I’m not forcing her to stop is because I remember my first kill, and what little sympathy I have for her comes from there.

Oh… oh fudge, I did it! I actually did it. What do I do now?!

Dear boy, look at you. Such a good disciple. You’ll need to take the body apart now, unless you want to be found.

Hi, I’m Lucien Bardot. I’m fourteen years old and I just took someone’s life. That was my Lord and Savior speaking; he sent me here to kill this man. God told me he liked to touch little girls, and it’s one of the greatest sins known to man, as it is a sin directly against God and his Creation. Obviously I’ve never done this before and it wasn’t what I thought it would be at all. In fact, it’s worse.

The dead man, Cecil Windsor, had a strict schedule that was very routine. It allowed me to track and follow him for a week or two before finally deciding how I was going to kill him. God made a suggestion, but I wanted something a little different—to show other men like him that there is always someone watching. Someone who will end them if they continue their sins. Once I made the decision to cut him up, everything was set in stone. There was a plan, I would follow it to the T, and the world would be blessed with one less cretin.

But gosh, how bloody and messy this all is. It’s everywhere and getting on everything. On my face, my hands and arms, soaking into my clothes. There’s a massive pool under his still body that I almost fell in when my sneaker caught on some of it. I slipped as if I stepped on a sheet of black ice. Between you, me, and God, I like it. How it clings to me and even when I wipe it away, leaving a red film. Or just when you think it’s gone, it shows up under a black light. Then there’s the way it feels. Once it’s existed outside of the body for too long, it takes on the same consistency of jelly like when I bite into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Don’t forget the coppery scent it gives off. It makes my mouth water.

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