Page 59 of Judas

Lucien shoves me under the water with a force that not only prevents me from getting a breath, but squeezes the one I had out in a barrage of panic-filled air bubbles.

That’s because he’s going to kill you, stupid girl!

My arms flail, reaching up to grab hold of him, hoping to find something to pull myself up, even if he’s the one that’s keeping me submerged. I kick, feet sliding along the rocks, unable to get any sort of leverage. Fear squeezes my throat when it finally dawns that he’s not going to let me up. He’s going to leave me here until I choke on the water, allow it to fill my lungs and suffocate me—he’s killing me.

Still, I fight for my life even though this is what I wanted. The majority of me yearned for it to end. To leave and not have to deal with the overwhelming entities living in my head. Even though my adopted parents are dead, I wouldn’t have to go back to that place either. There was a chance I could have escaped, and managed to find enough mental health care that maybe, just maybe, there was more for me than living in a world where I’m not wanted.

With pain in my chest, from both the burning of my lungs and the hurt in my heart, I’m about to lose what little bit of me there’s left. I wonder if my dad is waiting for me on the other side. Will he meet me before I’m cast out, the same way I was in my human life? I would sure love to meet him even if it’s only once. Just hope God takes mercy on me, I was a good girl, I promise I was. Even when Lucien was pulling the strings, and making me do the same terrible things his voices make him do—I was good.

Right?

It’s dark, even with the moon high in the sky. I can’t see it through the water anymore, even as I try so hard to blink, but there’s nothing. When my arms and legs slow down, the fear goes away, and all I am left feeling is acceptance. I wanted to die, wanted to be where the stars are born. Now, I get to.

Not today.

A loud screeching sound, mixed between a bone chilling scrape of metal and something similar to a guttural scream, pierces my ears and I’m hauled up right. Air floods my lungs as I see Lucien fall back into the water. Kate’s loud cackling drowns out everything else and I fade out.

Lucien

“Goddammit!”

She was almost gone; I had her right where she needed to be but greed is a powerful thing. There was no mistaking the way her body started to twitch under the water. The tell-tale signs that the wicked witch of the west was about to make her debut. But no, the dark side of me had to be a greedy fool and watch the life drain from Sadie’s eyes. Well, that’s cost us now. Kate took over, and in a surge of strength, she flung me back far enough to break my hold on Sadie before I landed in the water with an unceremonious splash.

I emerge quickly, but when I do though, she’s gone. Water is racing down my face, slinging side to side when I turn left then right to see where the hell she went. Thinking better of just getting up and leaving the water, I still. Listening to the things around me and trying to locate her that way. Lord knows I can’tsmell her anymore—maybe bathing wasn’t the best idea. Even if that was the sole purpose of us coming out here in the first place.

Can’t help it that the darker side of my psyche decided now was the time to really push the envelope and try to drown the girl we planned to murder later. While I know Nadia is on her way—she wouldn’t be a pain in my ass if she wasn’t—killing Sadie early wouldn’t have put too much of a hiccup in our plan.

This, though? This is as bad as bad can get. She’s gone, she’s angry, she’s being driven by the frenzied soul that inhabits her body. Which is not going to bode well for anyone involved. I don’t think Nadia is safe either, not that she needs to be.

Waiting longer is not feasible; she can freeze to death out here. I won’t be doing the same. Turning, I collide into a solid wall of naked teenage girl. Eyes dropping to hers, ones that used to be blue and would reflect the moonlight are now black as coal. Water’s dripping silently down her cold-prickled skin, nose red from the way she was likely trying to breathe through it when we had her submerged, lips blue from the lack of oxygen. If I didn’t know better, know she was the one that threw me off of her like I weighed nothing, I would already think she’s dead. There’s not a single bit of life shining through her, and I find myself on the opposite end of being scared.

“London bridge… is falling down… falling down… falling down. London bridge… is falling down. My… fair… la—dy.”

My heart stops at the sound of her voice. The tone of three overlapping each other as she sings. The words slow, the end of the sentences coming around, causing my breath to halt—waiting for retribution. It comes swiftly, rightfully, and violently when I’m dragged under the water and a weight sits on my chest, pinning me under the surface.

Chapter twenty-two

Babalon

24 Hours Ago

Ifeel like I have been on the road for months now, the blacktops never wanting to end. Just winding and bending on for miles with no end in sight. When Ra stopped loading coordinates into the GPS it felt like I was finally on the right track, that I’m closer to Sadie now than I have been since the day she was born. As I creep up on the last ping—I think that’s what Ra calls it—I take a moment to look around. The town I’m in is absolutely stunning. The roads are clean and lined with trees that nearly reach the top of the buildings. There must be apartments on top of the stores sitting at the bottom, families living their quiet lives without so much of a care in the world. Unaware of the monster who came through here days ago with agirl confined in the trunk of an inconspicuous car. Slowing down to the posted speed limit, I truly absorb everything around me.

Amongst all of this beauty, a thin veil of darkness casts across the picture perfect town. By the end of this, I’ll never want to look at it again. Gathering what little hope I can manage to make it through whatever in the hell Lucien has done to Sadie and what may happen to me. Thankfully, if we make it out whole, we will never have to come back here.

The last bit of footage Ra sent over was all there has been of Sadie. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, frankly. Lucien has had ample opportunity to end her life and throw her body into a ditch by now. Shockingly, Ra hasn’t heard anything on any of the radar-type things he monitors all the time. It’s a wonder that he never gets bored, sitting behind a mass of computer screens day in and day out. Oh, there’s me too, he bugs the fuck out of me. Must be all the action he gets. Definitely not any better, at least I’m someone to talk to—he’s that person for me.

Finding a parking spot at the end of the building on the right hand side, I ease the car into a parallel position. It's a little rusty and takes me a few times to get it just right, but I finally make it and shove the gears into park. Not waiting, there’s no time for that really, I snag my go bag and push out of the door, giving it a firm slam—an old habit of driving that truck of mine.

“Slam that door again, Nadia, and I’ll tie you to it and whip you for good measure.”

Good lord, not him.

Twisting at the waist, I reach for the strap hanging off my shoulder and start fumbling for the zipper on the front pocket. Did I accidentally call his insufferable ass when putting everything inside the compartment? Finding the zipper, I yank it and the teeth split apart, giving me a bird eye view of the items other than the phone tucked away inside. There’s the carkey with Sadie’s Batman key chain on it, the obnoxious wallet given to me by Ra and Ez, and chewing gum. Frowning, I note the phone isn’t lit up. Tapping the screen, there’s not a call on it either. Creepy fucker must have hacked the computer screen again.

Taking a few steps away from the driver door, heading to the front of the car, I pull the zipper closed again and toss the bag over my shoulder where it’s supposed to be before I turn and run into a tree.

Jesus Christ, Nadia.

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