Page 69 of Judas

“I’ve heard of it. I’m not too big on slang but it serves its purpose sometimes. Especially when it comes to lightening the conversation,” he replies.

“You mentioned Lucien putting Sadie in the trunk, how do you know that?”

His silence is telling, I’m not fond of having secrets held back. Least not the ones that have to deal with her abduction andtorture. She’s going to have so much trauma to work through, on top of being medicated again. I’m sure Lucien didn’t think to grab any of her necessities before snatching her out of the home I left her to grow up in.

“I was sent to follow both of them and wait for you. She’s a job, and you’re the affiliation I wasn’t allowed to interfere with. We have a long drive back to the apartment. Havok grabbed your backpack before we came into contact, so whatever you have in there is safe. Get you some sleep.”

“Hmm, alright. Thank you, Babel.”

I settle in with Sadie and do my damnedest to get comfortable enough to slip into slumber but it never comes. People talk about a second wind, another burst of energy that you get when you least expect it. While it would have been nice to have later on, I think it’s hitting because I was so close to dying. There were so many times, while struggling with my depression, when I thought letting go would be the best option for me. If tonight showed me anything, it’s that I was a fucking idiot. Thinking it was okay to leave this girl behind, with Lucien still breathing. He would have come for her whether I was alive or not; there’s no telling what all sorts of bullshit he might have subjected her to. Being in his grasp for a few weeks is long enough. There were times at Darkwater when mere minutes with him were enough to last a lifetime.

Sadie starts to shift and twitch in my hold, but I keep her firmly against me—a weighted blanket made out of the same stardust she’s built from. When she settles with her head against my chest, she stills all over and relaxes, listening to my slow deep breaths and mimicking them.

I’ve longed for this, to hold my baby. I’m so late to the game and have everything to learn about her—all the things I’ve missed. First steps, sharp little baby teeth coming in; the first time she got her haircut. I wonder if she said ‘momma’ or ‘dada’first. What song did she fall asleep to? When she came off the bottle, did she take to bananas or avocado first? How was she on her first day of school? Did she love Halloween like I used to? Which Loony-Toon is her favorite? I hope she likes kittens, or fast cars like Kace did.

I haveonlysixteen years worth of firsts to catch up on, but I’ll spend every waking moment of the rest of my life learning everything about Sadie Aurora Patton.

Though I wasn’t going to get a lick of sleep on the drive back to the apartment, I finally managed to get around ten minutes at the end of the ride. Babel gently rouses me and it took an act of congress to get me to let Sadie go, but I let him carry her—as long as I got to hold her hand as we shuffled up the stairs.

Hearing the harsh snaps of skin against skin, my spine straightens and I go rigid. Stalling before we make it to the top. There the sound is again, followed by a spluttering laughter that sends unbridled fear through me.

No… no no no. He’s up there.

“Relax, Nadia. Havok is up there with him, just getting information. He’s restrained and if he gets too loud or mouthy, we will gag him. You just worry about getting inside and getting to bed. We will take care of the rest.”

My throat feels like the cable is winding around it again, squeezing until the air in my lungs can’t expel or let anything else in. He stops and waits, looking at me now. In the much brighter light, I can see the age in his face. He’s mostly salt with some pepper. A darkness lingers in his green eyes; like he’s seen entirely too much pain in his life but he would choose to shoulder more if it meant better for other people. If it wasn’t for the crow’s feet he has on both sides of his face, I wouldn’t have noticed the faint lines framing his mouth—he must not smile too often since they’re not so pronounced. Being around this man, Ifeel safe. Safer than I did earlier tonight, safer that I’ve felt in a long time.

The invisible noose around my neck loosens and I take the next stair up, ready to get inside of the apartment. I’ll find a pair of headphones somewhere inside, I’m sure Ra has them laying around somewhere, and tone everything out other than the feel of my girl in my arms. We make it to the top of the stairs, and Babel opens the door, right as Havok cracks Lucien across the face. He spits his loathsome lifeforce all over the grey hardwood flooring and laughs a full bodied chuckle. Head tilted back and everything. I can see his arms bound to the chair he’s in, his legs chained at the ankles, too. Havok isn’t taking any chances, and I’m grateful for that.

“Working him over good?” Babel asks, corralling me through the living space, attempting to keep himself between me and Lucien.

“Yeah. Promised him I’d rip his fucking throat out. Just following up.”

Those words bring me to a halt and I fight against Babel when he tries to get me to go into the bedroom. Stepping to the left, I move around him and look into the dimly lit living room. Havok standing there, placing my brass knuckles down on a card table when he reaches up and wipes his forehead. The movement tousles his platinum hair and my world stops.

“K— Kace?”

Breather

Stop screaming, bih, this is an HEA.

You knew he was coming back.

Now, stop hyperventilating over Daddy Kace and listen to this.

I’d never forget your music, silly. It makes the book better.

Chapter twenty-six

Havok

Goddamn her.

My whole body is tense now. I was able to let loose and feel the rage pour through me when we got to the cabin and saw all of the shit he was doing. Fucker was going to string them up, let them hang there in a deranged homage to God. Hell, he already had Sadie hanging by her wrists and it was Babel keeping me steady—not letting the anger win over and run in swinging rather than sticking with the plan.

When I shot Lucien, an odd sense of peace settled over the area even though it was brief. Seeing the terror on Nadia’s face after she witnessed Lucien stumble back and collapse to the ground—who will not justfucking diealready—was my breaking point. Granted, I should have broke years ago and gone to her but what good would that have done? She was behind a glass wall and I was furious.

Still furious.

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