Page 81 of Judas
“I don’t have a problem, Nadia. I’m rusty as fuck when it comes to dealing with things other than taking orders and putting people away. I’m sure as fuck rusty with you.”
“And that’s my fault, why?”
Tilting my head back, an exasperated groan leaves me. Good God, we’re both so emotionally immature it’s pathetic.
Lead by example, fuck face, you’re head of household now.
Giving Sadie a brief apology and smile, I twist and devote all of my attention to Nadia. This relationship is the most important one right now, because without her I’m nothing.
“Please accept my apology, baby. I’m simply relearning everything. Absolutely nothing is your fault. Not this situation, not the communication issues, nothing. We have all been through a lot and I only want to help.”
“Can start by not being a dick.”
Sadie snickers for a moment and I bite the everloving shit out of the inside of my right cheek. Her tongue is still as sharp as it was when she was walking me like a dog around Darkwater.
Push harder, snitch.
“I’ll be less of a dick, Officer Pierce. Can we get back on topic, please? Don’t think Sadie wants to see either one of us fight like oil and water.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time I watched my parents fight,” she finally chimes in.
We both look at her then. Her head is resting on her knees now and she looks so damn tired. I wish there was a way I could fix everything for her. I’m only a man though. Nothing special about me other than surviving literal hell. Glad she recognizes her biological parents though, that’s a plus.
“They used to fight in front of you?” Nadia asks a question I already know the answer to. So, I patiently wait for Sadie’s answer. Nadia twitches and looks at her with pain in those stormy grey eyes of hers.
“Yeah. About me. Father, he… he wasn’t kind. I don’t really want to talk about it right now. It makes me feel bad and when that happens, I sort of black out.”
“What the fuck?”
Reaching out, I grab Nadia’s hand and give it a slight squeeze because I see one of her outbursts coming before she does. It’s out of protectiveness, this I know, but not here in broad daylightand definitely not when Sadie says no. Feeling her tremble in my hand, I swap topics.
“Do you like PlayStation portables? I was talking to the kid inside at the counter, before I came out here, and he was telling me about his. It’s the tech most people are carrying around, right?”
“Mmm, yeah. Why?”
“If you want one, I want to get it for you. Not to buy you off or anything, don’t get me wrong. Just thought you’d like to have one.”
“Oh, yeah. There’s this game that came out last year I’ve been wanting to play, but my other parents said it’s too graphic. Could I have it?” She’s perking up, that’s a plus.
“Yeah, I’ll have your uncle download it for you. When we get back to Pennsylvania, he will have it up and ready to go. What’s it called?”
“Deadspace. The original isn’t on PSP but Extraction is.”
“I’ll see what he can do. Guy can get his hands on anything.”
“Uncle?” Nadia looks at me suspiciously. “Don’t you only have a sister?”
“Matias, baby.”
“No shit! How’s he been?”
See, now this is normal—feels odd, but it’s normal. I launch into some of the things Matias has shared with me. Including his rather interesting relationship, giving Nadia a grin. Seeing if she’s catching what I’m throwing down. I don't think it would be a permanent thing, like the Ayala bunch, but having control over who or what happens in our relationship is alluring.
“Absolutely not. I just spent too long away from you. I’m not about to share you with anyone,” she answers, matter of factly.
“Oh? I had to share you, though.” Teasing her, I reach out and pull the cup of cooled coffee from her hand and take a drink. Laced with too much cream and sugar, as I guessed it would be.I remember tasting some mocha-frappe-what the fuck ever it’s called on her lips back in the day.
“What are you talking about? I’ve… I’ve not been with anyone. Christ’s sake, Kace, I’ve been in prison.”
