Page 49 of Brandishing Betrayals
Squeezing my eyes closed, my hands gripped her hips gently. I opened my eyes slowly and leaned my face closer to hers. “I’m sorry for my part in what happened that night.”
Confusion furrows her brow. “What night?”
“The night we punished you, before you chose to leave us. The night we strung you up in the woods.”
Like fucking clockwork, I watched as the walls to Maya’s soul slam shut. Her eyes narrow on me as her body shuddered in my grasp.
I continued before she could shut me out completely. “We broke your trust and I should have used my own safe-word that night. For that, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we took things too far and that you felt you couldn’t trust us.”
Tears begin to well her steely gaze and I knew I was getting through to her. Until she abruptly and forcefully pulled away from me, shoving me backwards. “No,” she snapped. “You don’t get to fucking apologize for that night. Not ten fucking years later!”
I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders, preparing for the fight I was about to instigate. I needed her caught unaware and off guard. I needed to break through her carefully crafted shields andlet me fucking in. I needed answers. The truth!
I needed her to break, so I could put her back together, piece by piece.
“Maya. I’ve thought of that night every single day for the last ten years. We took things too far that night. I almost ended the scene several times because I thought Marcos was taking things too far—being too over the top with your punishment. I regret that more than anything. I should have made your safety a number one priority.”
A shuddering sob rocked her body as she stepped away from me. Her hand covered her mouth and she shook her head vehemently. “Fuck you, Nico.” Taking a shaking breath, she quickly wiped her face and glared at me. “Fuck you for saying that to me now.”
I watched as she walked away from me, pacing my bedroom like a caged lion.
“Stop fucking trying to make me talk!” she finally yelled.
I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back against the bedroom wall, waiting patiently. “You will. One day.” I nodded at her.
Again, her eyes narrowed down to slits as she glared at me. “Like I fucking told Stone!” She spat his road name in disgust. “I fucking left you, because I didn’t want you anymore! Stop making this out to be anything more that!” She stalked closer to me, her eyes ablaze. “I don’t fucking love you anymore.”
I laughed through the pain that engulfed my heart. “You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.”
“You know I had to go see a sex therapist after that night? You know I have issues with being restrained?”
“Hard to know if you weren’t. Fucking. Here.” It was a cheap shot, but I’d do anything to break through her walls. I needed her to crumble.
Pain flashed across her face for but a moment, before she quickly slammed her walls back into place. “No.” Shaking her head she walked away from me again, continuing her pacing across my bedroom.
“You found out you were pregnant and you took our child away from us.” I hit harder.
She faltered momentarily and I knew I had her. I would get the truth on if she knew she was pregnant before orafter.It could change everything. “You’re right,” she snapped, turning back to me. She walked closer, looked me dead in the eye andfucking lied. “I did know I was pregnant. I found out I was pregnant before I left. That morning, before you guys strung me up in the cold, I found out I was pregnant. Then I cleaned your house and you guys strung me up and punished me for breaking one of your inanerules—and I got hypothermia.
“I woke alone and so dehydrated I had to give myself IV fluids. Luckily, I had medical training, huh? Why the fuck would I stay?The three of you lost my respect that night as my Dom’s. You really think I would stay? Raise a child in that environment?”
My heart broke all over again. I knew this wasn’t her, though. She was lashing out. I would need to push her more. I laughed in her face and leaned down, getting closer. “You gave yourself to us, begged us to be our whore.”
I registered the resoundingsmackof her slapping me, before I registered the pain radiating out across my face as my head was pushed to the side.
“Fuck you, Nico.”
I laughed again—softly—a low menacing laugh that had her eyes widening in fear. I lashed out and wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and yanked her to me, her body falling against mine. Her hands splayed across my chest as she caught herself. “Don’t you dare fucking lie to me, Maya.” I slid my fingers through the hair at her nape and twisted it around my fist. “You consented to everything, don’t fucking lie and act like those two years weren’t everything you fucking wanted.”
“Until they weren’t,” she muttered. “Reevaluate and renegotiate, right Nic?”
Stunned and confused, I abruptly let her go. She only stumbled back a foot or so, but the distance was enough.Reevaluate and renegotiate.Those were the words she had written on her note all those years ago—along with her safe-word. I still didn’t understand what they meant. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Ask Marcos.”
I shook my head and pushed off the wall, getting into her space again. “I’m fucking askingyou.You wrote those words in that note. You fucking left us. You fucking ripped out my damn heart that day.”
A gasp startled out of her and her eyes widened as she stared up at me looming over her. I hoped that she could read the painon my face as clearly as I could read the lies on hers. “Nico,” she murmured. She raised her hand, as if to touch my chest, but thought better of it and dropped it back to her side.
