Page 44 of Monochrome Without You
We eat dinner at the dining room table, just like we used to. Tate sits next to Jules, his little legs swinging under his chair as he talks a mile a minute. He recounts every detail of his day at school—who got in trouble, who traded what at lunch—and then, with barely a breath in between, tells Jules that his class is getting a pet hamster.
“We all have to take turns taking care of it,” he explains excitedly.
Jules smiles, but I catch the way her eyes flicker toward my side of the table. It’s happened all night—every time she takes a sip of wine, every time I ask Tate a question, every time our son laughs. She can’t stop looking at me.
Then again, I haven’t taken my eyes off her, either.
And Tate notices.
Because he’s grinning from ear to ear.
“Dad made dessert,” he announces proudly. “Your favorite.”
Jules leans back in her seat, wine glass in hand like a shield. “A chocolate sheet cake.”
I smirk. “Yep.”
“And he purred raspberries,” Tate says confidently.
Jules presses her lips together, trying not to laugh.
“Pureed,” I correct, shaking my head.
She chuckles lightly, and something in my chest tightens.
“Are you surprised?” Tate asks, still grinning.
Jules’ fingers trace the rim of her wine glass, her expression stoic. “I am.”
But I can tell she’s not.
If anything, it’s like she expected it.
Am I really that easy to read?
“I’ll get the cake,” I say, pushing back my chair then heading into the kitchen, listening as Jules and Tate keep talking.
I don’t know what they’re saying, but the sound of their voices—soft, warm, familiar—does something strange to my chest. It’s been a long time since it was just the three of us in this house. The house we bought, the one we filled with dreams. The house where we planned a life together.
I never should have let her go.
And even though some guy, who will one day fade into the background, put ink on her skin, that’s not why I want her back.
I want her back because I’ve never stopped loving her.
I let my dad get in my head. Let his bitterness, his failed marriage, his warnings about resentment and regret fester until I convinced myself I was protecting Jules by letting her go.
But the truth?
I was just scared.
Scared that one day she’d look at me the way my mom looks at my dad. With nothing but regret. Scared that she’d resent me for the things I couldn’t change.
But pushing her away wasn’t the solution.
It was the biggest mistake of my life.
Time has done a lot of things. It’s made Tate taller, made Jules stronger, and made me realize that I’ve spent two years trying to pretend I wasn’t still in love with my ex-wife. But timedoesn’t fix mistakes, and it sure as hell doesn’t give you a second shot unless you’re willing to take it.
