Page 78 of The Thorne at My Side
"No I did, and I thought he did too. We set a date and then he didn't show up. And actually, my annoying sex exchange partner made an appearance and that made the whole night worse."
"And then you lost your job?"
"Because of Austin Thorne's new software."
"Why do I know that name?"
"He's sometimes on the TCM gossip sites, his dad owns TCM and Austin oversees the AI Media side of things."
Liz slides her phone out of the thigh pocket on her leggings and with one thumb she starts googling. I know she's going to find a picture of him and tell me how hot he is.
"Whoa, Maybe! He's a fox. Wait,” She continues swiping and typing. “Is this him?”
She turns her phone to me and it’s an Instagram post. Austin is walking out of a bar with Felix Fornier.
I sigh, "yeah that’s him."
Austin and all the things we did together live rent free in my mind and I don’t need a picture to bring memories of him in a suit to the forefront.
"Wait," she says as she continues sleuthing, "He's the guy you did the podcast with?"
"Yeah," I say because the way she asks this it's like she knows who he is.
"You two had some really good banter going, good chemistry. We could hear it through the audio."
"We?"
"The Tome Raiders. Mom sent it out when it was published because she was proud of you but all we could talk about at the meeting was how you two sounded like you wereready to pounce on each other."
I bite my lip thinking back to that day. My anger as I first realized who he was. How he had deceived me at the office earlier. How I knew, even then, he was a threat to my livelihood. How we started working together. The first kiss that felt like he'd branded me. The first time we were together and it felt like he met me in stride. The next time we were together and I was vulnerable and opened myself up to him, emotionally and physically.
"You pounced on each other didn't you?" Liz's question pulls me back to the present.
"He was my sex for stress-relief partner."
"And the guy who spoiled your blind date?"
"Yeah, and who put me out of a job."
"Yikes, well then it's a good thing he's hot because he doesn't have much else going for him."
I think about how attentive he was at, and after, yoga, about the way he held doors open for me, about the emotion in his eyes when the election results came in.
If he hadn't been the reason I lost everything I think I'd want to know him better.
"Anyway,” I transition because I’m not ready to examine those feelings. “I know Mom is going a little crazy with your wedding but are you excited?"
"Yes, so excited. My dress is beautiful and I can't wait to wear it. And I know we already live together and have been together for years but there's something about actually getting married that feels big."
"It is big," I tell her as I take a sip of wine. "To commit to spending the rest of your life legally bound to another person? That's huge."
"Legally bound," she laughs, "is that what you think marriageis?"
"More or less," I admit. "I know Mom and Dad had this amazing partnership and worked together as a team so Mom could keep working and we could all do the things we wanted to do but I think what they have is rare. I think people are too selfish to really put someone else's needs before their own for an entire lifetime."
"It's not about putting their needs before your own. It's about knowing that both of you have needs and figuring out how to best meet them. Yes, sometimes I do the thing Kyle wants to do but it isn't because I'm putting his needs before mine. It's because supporting him fulfills me and ends up benefiting us both."
I pause as I let her words sink in. I have believed for a long time that I'd need to find a partner that was willing to sacrifice for my career. Someone without ambitions of his own. A man that was willing to be at my beck and call.
