Page 80 of The Thorne at My Side
I passed.
In D.C., occasionally, I’d get a wave from Joanne of Sunrise, but I didn’t know my neighbors. I worked with people but we rarely discussed anything besides work. Even Sam, who I would call my closest friend, and I haven’t talked since I left.
As we turn into the parking lot I feel tears well up in my eyes.
I’m lonely.
I swallow down the tears because I do not want to set off my mother’s alarm bells and when we step out into the cold I inhale the biting air and pull myself together. I send a quick text to Sam wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving even though the actual day has passed. Better late than never they say.
Liz and Kyle meet us at the edge of the field and my throat grows thick with emotion seeing them walk up holding hands.
“The Collins family! Merry Christmas!” I would know that voice anywhere, Cole MacDonald is headed our way. Slowly I turn and muster as much excitement as I can because if I didn’t want my mom to see me cry I definitely don’t want to break down in front of Cole.
“Cole MacDonald, how are you, darling?” My mother coos and I don’t miss the quick look she sends my way. Yes Mom, I’m aware, he’s attractive, he’s local, he’s single. Too bad none of that is doing anything for me at the moment.
Greetings and hugs are shared and while I’m wrapped up in Cole’s familiar embrace my phone starts buzzing in my pocket.
“Sorry,” I smile up at him. “I’m going to take this,” I tell him when I see Sam’s name on the screen. “Hello?”
“Maggie! I was so happy to see your text. How are you?”
“Hey Sam, I’m fine,” I say unenthusiastically as I takea few steps away from the group.
“I’ve got some news to share,” Sam starts.
“Oh yeah?”
“I got a job as Director of Content Strategy for Forever Home! That app that brought the puppies to the hockey game!”
Sam’s excitement is palpable. It reverberates off the cold cinderblock of aimlessness at my core.
“What?”
“I start in January. I had an amazing interview with this guy Wes who of course remembered me from the campaign stop,” she continues rambling excitedly as I spiral further and further down into despair. I start shaking my head quickly back and forth before my feet begin pacing an oval in the snow. She just got another job?
“How?” I ask, interrupting something about her being the most senior woman on the team.
“What do you mean? I needed a job.”
“But it’s not in politics. It’s a tech company. It’s, it’s…” I don’t know how to form words. I can’t process making a switch or veering off my career course.
“Listen,” Sam interrupts, sounding more serious than I’ve ever heard her. “I know we got caught on the shit end of the stick after the election. But after the last several months of working my tail off I’m doing something that will be fun. I get to play with puppies all day and help them find their families. I get to coordinate events and help roll out the app in new markets. I wasn’t on Senator Quinn’s team for the politics. I was in it for the experience. All I want to do is use my words for good.”
My vision blurs as I look out at the pine trees. It isn’t tears, it’s a earth shattering thought causing a dizzying effect.
What if I’m not in politics anymore?
My instant reaction to Sam’s words makes it feel like thewalls are crumbling down around me.
Maggie Collins, not in politics?
If I don’t want to continue in the field that I’ve spent my entire life working to get to the top of, what do I want to do?
Oh god, where do I go from here?
I’m almost 40, sure in the world of politics that’s pretty young, but it is way too old to start over. I’ll never make a name for myself in a new field at this point.
“Maggie, are you done with your call, love?” Mom calls out. “Cole said he’d help us cut down the tree,” she adds in a sing-song voice.
