Page 82 of The Thorne at My Side
And it’s been eating away at me.
I try to stuff the uneasy feeling down and focus on the activity in the room. This is the last board meeting of the year. Next year Dad turns 65, the widely accepted retirement age. Iexpect him to announce his succession plan today.
I need a win. I’ve been in a funk since learning that Maggie and TalkShopGirl are the same woman. The perfect woman in fact. One that I’ve both had and lost.
It was painful to be in the same room on Election Night. I watched every emotion dance across her face and wanted to share them all. The anticipation as results came in. The high of the win. The low of when she realized AI Media had written the speech.
That one hurt the most.
After our missed, but actually realized, connection at Lapis I’ve started to carry the SMS Connect phone around with me. It’s a pathetic attachment to hope. Delusional even. But my logic is if she messages me I want to be there for her right away.
When I watched her face fall during the acceptance speech I desperately wanted to comfort her as DCFox. I tried to give her a reassuring smile from across the room as I clutched the little phone in my pocket.
It wasn’t enough.
A week after the election, I got an email telling me Jorge would be our contact for President-Elect Quinn’s team. I emailed him and asked where Maggie was. Jorge told me after she and Sam were fired, Maggie went back home to upstate New York. So, all the times I found myself walking around her neighborhood hoping to catch a glimpse of her were for nothing.
I haven't responded to her SMS message from that night. I don’t know what to say. She left it final. In truth I don't have a way to explain what happened. What could I possibly say? But I still carry this thing around, still paying the monthly fee, in the hope that she'll reach out again. And I will hold on to the hope a little while longer because TalkShopGirl, Maggie,hasn’t given up on me, either. I would have been notified by SMS Connect so while the odds aren’t with me, I haven’t lost all hope.
In the last few weeks I’ve thrown myself into work. I've hired several additional developers to review our code and look for biases. We're also working on a new tab for the app that would show users articles that other people are seeing. Instead of a “for you” page, a “for them” page. I don't know if anyone will use it but it's a way to try and open the user's eyes to help prevent them from getting stuck in their own algorithm.
That can't be bad, right?
Would Maggie be proud of it?
Of me?
I shake my head as the Secretary of the Board wraps up his report. I’ll be up soon. Maybe an announcement from Dad to the board will bolster my confidence. Make me feel like the tycoon I’ve been raised to be.
“Let’s quickly work our way through divisional reports. The investor meeting next month during earnings season will be where we discuss details so let’s keep things at a high level here. We’ll go in our typical order. Board Members, please reserve your questions and comments until the end.”
I sit up a little straighter in my seat. Show time.
Newspaper is first, sad.
Podcasts is next, not bad.
New media is next. I’m not the president of the division but I’ve been allowed to operate on my own while developing AIM.
“I’m excited to share that our division is reporting a profit with only ten days left in the year.” I lift my chin, expecting to have the conversation passed to me because I’m the reason for the influx of cash. “Our digital news production is a major contributor but the other assets in our division are alsoperforming well. We expect performance to continue into the new year.”
The division president for publishing starts sharing his summary and I blink rapidly while looking around the room.
Nothing?
Absolutely nothing about AI Media or the lawsuit I rescued us from.
I stare at my father at the head of the table and mentally beg him to look at me. Maybe he’ll call me out separately. He’s never done that before but I only received my voting seat a year ago so, there hasn’t been much opportunity.
The division presidents wrap up and the meeting moves on without a word about my product. No acknowledgement. No recognition.
He’s really playing this one close to the vest.
I reach into my pocket under the table and run my thumb along the SMS Connect phone. It’s become a sort of talisman. It’s what brought me to Maggie in the first place. Never mind the fact that it’s the reason Maggie isn’t currently talking to me.
“Before we adjourn and go into end of year mode I wanted to share something.” Dad starts and I grasp the device like it’s the top hold on the wall. “Next year marks a milestone for me and we’ll be celebrating throughout the year. As many of you know I’ll be 65 and because of that we’ll spend the year marking my 30th year at the helm of my family’s corporation. It has been the work of my lifetime to get to this point and I am excited to continue in this position for years to come.”
The room fills with polite applause. I’m slow on the uptake but I join in. I tow the line to be polite but inside I am furious.
