It was like someone reached into him and pulled out half of his soul.
There was no doubt that he’d left it back in the States with Gamble.
This feeling in his heart…
It was killing him.
At that moment, he felt empty, and he was beginning to think he should have stayed in the US where he belonged. That he should have chosen Gamble over all of this.
There was only misery here.
Was he really needed here to play Duke?
He didn’t believe that he wanted to do that, but he was pretty damn sure he was needed back in America.
By Gamble.
The man had told him that he loved him, and up to that letter, he wanted him.
Yeah, Poe was an idiot.
A bloody freaking idiot.
After all, he’d gotten angry at Gamble when he was going to abandon him, and here, he’d done the same thing to the man.
So basically, he was a hypocrite.
Great.
Coming home made him a horrible human being and he was going to pay for it when he was alone for the rest of his miserable life.
Still, his brain was trying to rationalize it. If he hadn’t had so much to do here…
Yeah, it was an excuse, even after he compensated all of the families of the staff who were killed, hired new people to run the stables, and worked on keeping the place going.
There was no justifying any of this.
He was a chicken.
How did he know?
Well, maybe because he’d still yet to view his parent’s bodies, and he was beginning to think he wouldn’t.
He simply wasn’t strong enough.
There was no way he could do it alone, and he was utterly empty inside and scared.
Already, the gossip was flowing, and just last night, it was on the media that he was back, and his father’s title would be his.
A new Duke of Gordon would be added to the British nobility.
Great.
He couldn’t wait.
Now, he’d have all of the pressure, and none of the desire to stay here and carry through with this self-imposed punishment for not being around to help his twin or his parents.
Let the torture begin.