Gunner toddles over and goes straight to Grandma. Mom picks him up and sets him on her lap.
“You know, when me and your dad first got together, I visioned my life being like this down the road. I didn’t account for a stepdaughter, but I knew before then that life is always laughing at you and the only way not to be sucked down by it is to laugh right along with it. Harper is the daughter I never had, she’s the sister you never had, and now, I wouldn’t change it. We’re a family, and this little guy along with your children are proof that we’re laughing harder and louder, and our family is growing strong.”
Mom has always had such a positive outlook on life considering the hurt and grief she’s endured. She lost both her parents before her eight birthday. She’s lost brothers she thought of as blood uncles and her brothers. But throughout it all, she’s remained positive.
Excusing myself, I make my way out of the side gate and light another cigarette. Nora catches my eye, stood on my porch, on the phone. I wonder who the fuck she’s talking to? Just the sight of her makes the pains in my chest return.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Shane
I’ve sunk five beers and four whiskeys and I’m stone cold sober. Lily was… is dead. How long was she lying there lifeless before I found her? I slam the empty beer bottle down on the bar and demand another. I should’ve gone to check in on her last night. I’m in disbelief she’s gone, but then, I don’t know her well at all… knew her. I get what other men saw in her. The way she can… could, hold your attention. The way her body moved knowing exactly what a guy liked and wanted. Such a sad energy about her.
I take the beer the prospect hands me and sink half the bottle when Annie slides onto a stool beside mine.
“Feeling any better?” I ask.
“Much. Though…” She looks around then back to me and frowns. “Has something happened?”
I finish my beer and sigh. “Slade’s sister killed herself during the night. I found her this morning.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Guess that explains why you have a glassy eye about you. Was she someone to you?”
“Something and nothing. Before you, but she had become a friend.”
After a moment of silence, she says, “This nausea is returning, how about you take me out somewhere to distract me?”
I eye her. She’s no longer washed out or heaving. I’m guessing she’s trying to distract me.
Lily is gone but Annie is here and she’s carrying my kid. What she wants, I will make sure she gets it.
“Sure, but you’ll have to drive.”
Stepping out of the bar, the alcohol I’d consumed starts to hit me. Once in my truck, I wind the window down and soak in the breeze clearing the alcohol away.
“What was she like? Slade’s sister.”
“I didn’t really know her well enough to know that, but from what I saw, she was sad.”
“I thought you said she was a friend?”
“A new friend.”
“Got ya.” The old purr of my truck fills the silence that falls between us.
I’ve never given much thought to why people take their own lives. I get it. Some people’s lives are riddled with mental pain and physical scars, some too much to bear. Trauma can be a noose around the neck long before their last breath.
“Since I don’t know the town well, I’m gonna park up out here and we can just talk.”
Parking under the shade of a tree, the cool breeze is welcome.
“Is there anything you want to know about me?” she asks. “I mean, we talked a lot the night we met but we didn’t cover everything.”
“I guess the only thing I want to get clear is why you don’t want to be in our baby’s life. Do you think you won’t be a good mom?”
“I’m not a good person, so I can’t see how I’d be a good mother.”
Surprised by her answer, I laugh. “How are you not a good person?”