Page 100 of The Crown of the Last Fae Queen
With trembling fingers she undid the lace of her dress and pulled it down until it pooled at her ankles. She tentatively covered her breasts with her hands. Blár’s mouth parted, his eyes trailing down her body. She stared down at her feet, her insecurities rearing its ugly head within her. What if he thought she was ugly? What if he didn’t like her body? What if he thought she was too big? What if?—
Blár gently grabbed her wrists and placed them on her sides. She blinked up at him. He was so tall she had to crane her neck up to stare. Or maybe it was hard to see him as someone at her level when he was so beautiful. When his body was so sculpted. When he was … perfect.
He kissed her roughly, and she gasped against him, her hands splaying on his chest. When he pulled back, there was a feral need in his eyes that wasn’t there before.
“I need you to understand that you are perfect.” He wove his hand into her hair and tilted her head until their foreheads were pressed together. His body was flush against hers. “I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t want you.”
“But I’m not …” She glanced away, feeling more vulnerable than before. Suddenly, she was back at the Royal Guards. She was subjected to the laughter. The bullies. The relentless comments about her body. Her uncertainties rose again, and she stiffened. She had never done anything like this before. Never laid herself bare like this—both physically and emotionally.
“Kolfinna?” His voice, tender and full of emotion, shattered through the haze of her darkening thought. He framed her face with his hands. The desire in his eyes lifted to unveil his concerns. “You do realize that I find you beautiful, right? Just the way you are. I always have.”
Her eyes lined with unexpected tears. “But … I’m not … particularly thin.”
Blár grabbed her hips and a slow smile curved his face. “I’m aware. Didn’t I tell you before that I love your curves? You don’t need to feel insecure around me. You’re beautiful.”
Heat rose to her cheeks.
As if for emphasis, he leaned forward and brushed a kiss against her throat. “You’re perfect. Your body isperfect.”
Then they were kissing again, their hands traveling over one another. Blár ripped his clothes off at some point, too, and then they were on the bed together. Kolfinna had never thought she would ever feel as comfortable in her own skin, in her own body, than she did in that moment. Not just because he found her desirable, but because she found herself relaxing with him. And she realized she had truly found someone who wanted her. All of her.
I love you, Blár.
She wanted to tell him, again, but she couldn’t find her voice. Not with the impending thought of what would happen next between the fae and the humans. What her decisions would do to them.
That night, she gave herself to him completely. And she hoped, with all her heart, that it wouldn’t be the last time.
30
THIRTY – KOLFINNA
Kolfinna awokethat morning with a feeling that something was … different.
The memories of last night made her blush, and she knew her relationship with Blár was completely changed now, but this was adifferentkind of feeling. Her mana, which had increased since their first shared kiss, seemed to skyrocket. She hadn’t noticed it last night, but now she could feel the vastness of Blár’s mana within herself too. It flooded her senses, filling her with a coldness that made her dizzy.
She shivered in Vidar’s office, wishing she had worn something thicker. Birds chirped loudly from the windows, and Kolfinna’s attention flicked from them to Vidar, who sat behind his desk silently. He had called her here but hadn’t spoken much, as if he was waiting for something. She was more than happy to sit in silence, her thoughts a tangled web.
She had only caught a glimpse of Blár among her guards, and she wished she could have woken up next to him. She rubbed her hands together to bring more warmth to her skin. She wanted to ask Blár if he also felt her magic now that they had consummated. The Bryllup ceremony, or the mating bond, was supposed to work fully now that they had joined their bodies.But was it different for him since he was a human and she was a fae? She wanted to ask him, but held her tongue. Tonight, they would escape, and she could ask him everything then.
“You seem happy.”
Kolfinna jerked her chin up at Vidar. He was watching her with an unreadable expression.
“Do I?” She cleared her throat. “You look unhappy. Though that seems to be your default expression.”
He frowned.
“Why did you call me here?”
Vidar opened his mouth to answer, but a knock interrupted them. A soldier entered the room, murmured something to him, and left with a hasty bow. Her father sighed, long and hard, and then rose from his seat. He grabbed his helmet, which was seated on the edge of the table, and slid it on, rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms. His mana rippled through the air, violent and heavy, before it settled. A shiver ran down her spine; he looked even more sinister than usual. Or maybe it was the air around him.
“Did you mean what you said yesterday? Will you free Aesileif?”
She had thought about it that night and morning. Through her messy, guilty feelings, and her confusion over everything, the answer was a resounding and ever-complicated, “Yes.” The word wrenched out from her.
Kolfinna wasn’t sure if that was relief in his eyes, or if he had expected it and had only wanted to confirm. He held his hand out for Kolfinna.
“What is it?” she asked, tentatively slipping her fingers into his cool, scarred hand.
