Page 98 of The Crown of the Last Fae Queen
“What if freeing her is the wrong choice?”
“It’s not right for her to be trapped for millennia, and I wouldn’t want that for anybody, much less your own mother. Whether or not freeing her is the right decision for the war … I don’t know.” His hand lightly brushed against her hip, and a jolt of his familiar winter coldness sped through her body. “But if you think that she needs to be saved, then do it.”
The back of Kolfinna’s eyes burned and she squeezed them shut. She leaned against his shoulder, letting her tears fall down her cheeks. All at once, she couldn’t hold her sobs back. She cried for herself. For the choices she was making, and then for the lives that would inevitably fall through the cracks from her decision. For the hollowness in her chest. For the reality that peace was so far out of reach.
Blár held her tightly the entire time. As the night deepened and her tears dried up, they both sat in silence; the only sound between them was the flames in the hearth licking up the wooden logs. They sputtered and crackled, the brilliant orange-gold glow flickering over the room.
“I believe Agnarr has already left for headquarters,” Kolfinna said, remembering the way he had left Vidar’s office earlier that day. “Or he’s about to. I heard him say that he’s ready to mobilize his men.”
The muscles on Blár’s jaw feathered. “I heard the same. I’ll be leaving tomorrow night.”
Kolfinna hesitated. “What about me?”
“I would like if you came with us,” he said carefully. “However, if you’d rather free the queen, it’s probably best for you to stay here. It’s up to you what you want to do. I’ll support either decision. If you decide to free her … Well, then I can figure out a way to help you escape at a later time.”
She stared down at her hands, the decision to stay weighing heavy on her. She wanted to leave this place, to escape from Vidar’s clutches and the fae army, but she couldn’t.
“I need to get a message out to Eluf so he can prepare for us to leave,
he continued. “He and the others are close by for when we need to escape. They’ll cause a distraction that will help me.”
They were both quiet for a few minutes after that.
In that moment, everything seemed to change. She could trust Blár with her life. Deep, deep down in her heart, she’d alwaysknown,but the stubborn part of her that didn’t want to trust anyone had held her back. But now she absolutely knew that whatever happened, he would be here for her, and she could trust him with everything.
She also realized that she truly loved him more than anyone.
No one else would have stuck with her this long; no one else would have gone to such lengths. No one else would have seen all the complexities of her situation—of her being fae, of her being a princess of a mostly-dead dynasty, of her being different—and decided to stay despite that. But Blár had stuck with her through it all. He always chose her.
And that made her heart swell with emotion, because she had never felt chosen before. She had never felt like she mattered.
Maybe that was why she felt like she couldn’t lose this moment. She wanted to spend every day with him, every waking moment. She wanted to hold his hand, to kiss him, to embrace him. She wanted to live with him and love him, and cherish every second.
Kolfinna touched the side of his face, her fingers meeting the black material of his mask. He watched her as she hooked a finger onto the edge of it and pulled it down to reveal the rest of his face. Those full lips. The sharp planes of his cheeks. His masculine jaw. She wanted to remember everything about him.
“You’re too pretty to hide behind a mask,” she said, all too aware of how loud her voice sounded in the quiet room.
The corner of his mouth rose. “Pretty? I don’t know if I like to be called that.”
“What else should I call you?” She traced her thumb over his jawline. A ripple of coldness swept through her body, chilling her down to her bones. At one point, she had been fearful of his frigid magic, of the way he was always so wintry cold, but now it had a calming effect on her. Heat pooled in her stomach, warring with his icy touch.
“Handsome, maybe?” His voice came out gruff, low, and his eyes flared with desire as he stared at her. “But not pretty.”
She laughed softly. “I would have thought you’d like that ego of yours inflated.”
“By being called pretty? Surely there are more flattering compliments you can give me?” He traced the side of her face with his index finger and pushed a strand of wavy white hair behind her ear, and then did the same with the other side. “But I’d rather be the one complimenting you, Kolfinna, than the other way around.”
“I don’t need?—”
Blár placed his finger over her lips. “You are the most beautiful woman I have had the pleasure of knowing. I … I have been entranced by you from the moment I met you in that forest. I hate that our first meeting was the way that it was—the way I …” He clamped his mouth shut, and she could see the regret flashing over his eyes. He had hunted her down and almost killed her, leaving her with scars on her leg where he had used his magic against her. “I don’t think I can apologize enough times for what I did to you. The pain I caused, the nightmares … And I wish more than anything that things had gone differently that day.”
She blinked at him. “Why are you bringing that up?”
“Because I realize that I am one of those humans that have caused you pain, that has made you wary of humans. Who hasdone something terrible to you at some point. It didn’t matter that I was following orders. I shouldn’t have attacked you. Or hunted you.”
“You’re not like Hilda and the hunters,” she said after a moment. “You’re not the reason I have trouble trusting the humans. You’re the one person who has stood by my side through all of this. It’s not your fault that the humans don’t like the fae.”
“I still wish I could change things.”
