Page 134 of Between Passion and Revenge: Part Two
She sounds shaken, as if the reality that he’s been unaware of his children for nearly a decade is a lot to comprehend.
“How does he feel about being a father?” she asks cautiously, and I can’t help the smile that comes to my face.
“I have to admit, he’s a natural. It’s…it makes me so sad, Mama. If he’d known, I can’t help but believe he would have been the best father. Loving, involved, completely dedicated to his children.”
“And to you?” Mama adds, and my heart drops to my toes. What would have become of me and Storm? If I’d been able to reach him after our breakup, what would have happened?
Would we have moved on to other partners? Figured out how to co-parent and bury the past?
Or would we have ultimately found our way back to each other?
Storm’s uncle, and the fact that he murdered Storm’s parents, ping-pong around my brain. What would have happened if his parents had lived?
Would he have done what he did?
No.
I shove away the silly, hopeful part of my brain that wants me to believe Storm broke up with me because it’s whathewanted to do…not out of some sense of care.
Protection.
I clutch my chest and bend over at the waist, pressing the phone to my ear as I lay my cheek against my knees.
“I don’t know about that, Mama,” I say, my voice like a whisper.
Mama hums again.
“Do you still love him, Shae?”
Shewouldask that question—the damn question I’ve been avoiding like a telemarketing call about my vehicle’s extended warranty.
And yet, the answer still spins and spins and spins.
“It would be stupid if I were to, Mama,” I say, sitting up and trying to access my power.
Trying to feel more like myself…or, I guess, who I am today.
Am I still her? Am I Liv, or have I slipped right back into the starry-eyed college girl who loved Storm Sandoval to the ends of the earth?
“You’re not answering my question, baby,” Mama adds softly. I can almost feel her palm on my cheek as she presses me for a real response.
An honest one.
I’m not ready to be honest.
“Mama,” I say, my voice breaking. I’m pitiful.
I let the unanswered question hang between us, closing my eyes as if it could shut out the unspoken truth. Finally, Mama hums again.
“Just be careful, baby,” she says, clearing her throat to signal the mood change. “If things go south, it’s not just you who has to deal with the aftermath.”
I wipe my eyes with my fingers and my nose with the back of my hand.
“Right. The twins,” I say. Shaking my head, I grapple for control. “I won’t let him hurt them.” Never. I’ll never let Storm do to them what he did to me.
“I know you won’t let them get hurt, Shae. Just don’t hurt yourself in the process.”
I nod, unable to say anything else to that mic drop.
