Page 13 of Holly Jolly
Holly nodded before taking a deep breath, wiping away the remaining tears from her eyes.
"Can we start over?" she asked softly after a moment of silence between us.
My heart skipped a beat at the question as hope filled me once more.
"What do you mean?"
Holly looked up at me with determination in her gaze, "I know it's been years since we've seen each other but... there is something still here between us."
A thousand thoughts swirled through my mind as I gazed into those beautiful eyes of hers - confusion, excitement, doubts...but ultimately love won out and so did my lips. Our kiss was slow and gentle at first and then quickly grew in intensity as our feelings for each other poured out. When we finally broke apart, we were both breathless but smiling.
"So does this mean that we're starting over?" I asked softly, still feeling the warmth of our kiss lingering on my lips.
"Yes," Holly replied, her voice strong and sure. "We can start fresh - no expectations or judgments."
"You were always there for me," she said with a small smile. "I miss my best friend, Ethan. Going through losing my parents alone, that was the hardest thing in my life. I thought about asking your mother for your phone number, but I didn't know what was going on in your life..."
"Holly, no matter what, I am always here for you as a friend. It's the least I can do after everything you helped with after my loss. I'm not sure I would have made it without you."
Holly was an amazing woman, and I couldn't wait to find out where this would go.
12
Ethan
December 27th
Things hadn’t changed between Holly and I since my departure. All of the feelings flooded back and it put me on edge. Being abandoned at the altar by Veronica messed with my self-esteem and for months I questioned if I was the one that did something wrong. My psyche couldn’t process. Many days and nights weren’t spent on my couch, in dirty clothes, binge watching television and eating microwave dinners. There was a reason she left me at that altar, but she wasn’t willing to be honest. Veronica didn’t even come back to our apartment to collect her belongings, instead she had me ship that to her new address. She knew I wanted answers and being face-to-face meant she couldn’t run away or turn off her phone, but I never got that opportunity.
In the end, I thanked my lucky stars she showed me the type of person she was before we said I do. Marriage was sacred and saying those two words meant I was with them for life. What if she went through with the wedding and then a couple of months later decided she wanted an annulment?
Coming into this visit with my mom, I never imagined running into Holly and finding out that she moved back. My mother never mentioned it either, which was surprising with how much she had been trying to get me to settle down. Her knowledge of our past meant she hid it on purpose. My mother knew I wasn’t ready to be with anyone. She could have mentioned this at any time, but she decided to keep it from me so it didn’t affect my relationship with Veronica. Thinking back, my eyes were set on her, obviously, or I wouldn’t have asked her to be my wife in the first place. One thing about me, loyalty came naturally. When I was with a woman, my eyes never wandered.
One of the major lessons taught by my wonderful mother. Before going on my first date, she told me to always make the women in my life a priority. And she was right. So many men treated their women poorly, but I vowed to never be that man. Maybe that was why there was no bad blood between any of my exes. They understood that just because we didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that they didn’t deserve to be happy. Every woman should have a man in her life that showed them their worth and put a smile on their face.
Knowing that she had been back in Michigan for the past couple of years made me wonder if I had come visit before dating Veronica if I could have been with her sooner? I shook my head. Nope! Every single heartache we had both experienced made us the people we were today. It taught us to appreciate each other more and worry less. Our time to reconnect was now and instead of harping on the what if scenarios, I wanted to bask in the now.
The vibration against my nightstand caught my attention.
Holly: Thanks for dinner tonight. I really had a great time. =)
Me: Just like old times… what are you up to?
Holly: Trying to get some writing time in, but… let’s just say it’s an epic fail at this point.
Why was she being so hard on herself? The girl won literary awards before she even turned eighteen! She had the talent but imposter syndrome was a thing. Holly just needed to believe in herself. Now that she had me back in her life, she would have nothing but support for her career. My freshmen English teacher said once, “Anyone could have an idea but the real challenge is having the patience and determination to write an entire book from start to finish.”
Holly had already released several books and that wouldn’t have happened if her publisher didn’t believe in her work as much as she did. Sometimes it helped to get out of your head and do something to escape.
Me: Have you hit a block? Maybe all you need to do is step away from it for now and let your mind simmer in your ideas… obviously I don’t know anything about being a good writer… I’m no Edgar Allen Poe.
Had I ever written something?Yes!Did I ever write an actual short story or novel from an idea I’ve had?No.
Holly: You aren’t terrible. I read some of your poetry back in High School, remember? I’d give it like three stars.
She remembered that? It was so corny. For Valentine’s day, my mother convinced me to do something homemade for a gift instead of the conventional flowers and a romantic dinner, so I sat down at my makeshift desk staring at a blank piece of paper for hours the night before. After six hours, I managed to write six sentences, and even though they weren’t award worthy, they were straight from my heart.
Me: I worked really hard on that and poured my heart and soul into it. It should be at least three and a half star worthy. Maybe I’ve gotten better over the years.
