Page 14 of Holly Jolly
Yeah, totally kidding. The poem would be even worse if I tried to write it now. Holly always had a way with words, making them flow beautifully, and I struggled.
Holly: Oh yeah, let’s see. I’ll give you ten minutes to come up with a poem about whatever you want. Bring it. ;)
Of course she would!
Me: Challenge accepted!
I went to my desk and rummaged through the drawers to find some paper and an old number two pencil. She put me on the spot but wouldn’t back down. This was my dare and it gave me an opportunity to write something lovely for her. Only problem was, my heart knew what it wanted to say, but my brain couldn’t find the right words to portray that. Ugh! After writing three sentences, I started erasing it, declaring it junk. Nope, I could do better than that.
Holly: Five more minutes.
This poem needed to be able to show my connection to Holly, but also our struggles. Leaving her behind for us to pursue our dreams was hard, but it had to be done. There was very real possibility that if we had stayed together, there would be resentment. And if so, it would have caused a rift between us eventually anyway. She needed to know how much the breakup effected me. How the heck do I put this in the right words. I bit my lip, and pondered up at the ceiling wishing the words would come to mind.
A lightbulb went off and the pencil scratched against the paper as fast as I could before the words left my brain. Was this how it felt for Holly when she was in the flow of writing one of her masterpieces? How exhilarating!
Holly: Alright give it your best shot, baby!
My hand trembled as I looked at the blank screen on my phone. She would probably laugh at me, but if there was ever a time to put my heart on the line, the time was now.
Me: As I wandered away from the one I loved. My heart cried out with a longing above.
It ached and it pined, it sobbed and it screamed. My desperate wish was to be in her dreams.
My chest was tightening, and I searched for the three dots to indicate a response coming, but there was nothing.Did she hate it?My head fell back and I looked up at the ceiling, my hands falling to my face. You know what, at least I could say I tried. Instead of sulking, I needed to be out there fighting for what I wanted, and I would be stupid to let Holly walk out of my life again.
The three dots appeared and I gulped.
Holly: That was absolutely beautiful. Did you really write that?
Did that mean she liked it or was she just being nice? I stroked my chin, laying back in bed, wondering if she was doing the same thing.
Me: Yes I did. Isn’t the best but better than my last one, for sure.
Everything happened for a reason and Holly and I calling it quits all those years ago was meant to be. We each wanted to follow our dreams and couldn’t have done that together at such a young age. Reconnecting now, this was my second chance.
Me: Listen, I know we have a lot of history, but I want you to know that you are the most beautiful woman in the world and even if the person you end up with isn’t me… my hope is that whoever it is, treats you with respect and makes sure you know your worth every single day.Don’t accept anything less.
Even when you wanted things to work out sometimes they didn’t, that was life… but Holly deserved someone who was genuinely going to show her how amazing she was – she should be treated like a queen. If she decided to give me the opportunity, I’d gladly be that person.
So many memories with her in this room. The old desk that we used to do our homework at every day. Crammed for every exam and state test. One night, we stayed up so late studying that she fell asleep in my arms until my mother found us. She wasn’t mad, but did make her go home.
There was one thing Holly took very seriously and that was her academics. No matter what, they came first, end of story. Come to think of it, a lot of our time together was spent studying. No wonder my mother thought she was such a good influence.
Holly: You are still the sweet Ethan from back in the day, just a little smoother. ;) Don’t take yourself out of the running just yet… I think I might kinda like you.
A smile swept across my face. She was flirting with me.
The last few days with her cemented my decision to move back.
A knock on my door sounded and then it opened.
“Just wanted to say goodnight. See you in the morning.” My mother’s head popped in through the doorway. “You must be talking to Holly.”
“How did you know that?”
“You have that same goofy smile on your face every day since you met her. A mama never forgets.” She winked and shut the door.
Me: Would you like to go out with me tomorrow?
