Fucking hell.It was time to admit that I wasn't going to do any better. I needed to talk to her face-to-face—alone. And I had a plan.
Riley
The next week passed by quickly. The tension between me and Duncan was building day by day. No matter how much I triedto steel myself, whenever I heard his voice announcing that he'd arrived home in the evening, my entire body reacted.
The dynamic between us had changed on a fundamental level. I didn’t leave right away as before. I lingered during Jeremy’s routine, and we mostly talked about his day. Sometimes Duncan asked about my mom and sister. I didn’t even care what we talked about, to be honest. I simply longed to be near him.
And that was dangerous.
"I'm so excited," Jeremy exclaimed on Friday.
"You haven't spent the weekend with your grandparents in a while, huh?" I asked.
"It's just with Grandma," he said.
I kept forgetting that Duncan's parents were divorced.
"She always makes homemade pizza and cake." His eyes were shining.
God, I wanted to hug him and never let him go, but then the front door opened.
"Daddy, I'm ready," Jeremy exclaimed, darting out of his room. His Spider-Man backpack was hanging off one shoulder. I hadn't gotten to zipping it up yet, so his stuffed giraffe and favorite car fell out. Chuckling, I grabbed them and headed toward the living room.
Duncan had picked him up in his arms. Sometimes Jeremy would insist that he was a grown-up boy and didn't want public displays of affection, but then sometimes he went looking for it. I assumed that, because he was going to spend the night away from his father, he wanted more affection than usual.
I walked up to them. "The backpack's ready," I said, stuffing the items back in and zipping it up this time.
Duncan glanced down at the zipper and smiled at me. "Thanks for that. Day went okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah, completely uneventful." My body buzzed. I couldn't understand how that happened when Duncan had only spoken a few words. But he’dlookedat me, and apparently that was all it took these days.
"All right," he said, putting Jeremy back down. "Grandma is going to be here soon."
"I need to bring my magic pillow too," Jeremy said, darting toward his room.
The second Duncan and I were alone, I was even more on edge.
"As I was saying, my mom is picking Jeremy up soon. I'd like to cook you dinner."
My head snapped up as I looked straight at him, totally in shock. "Wow, Duncan… Um, I wasn't expecting this."
“It would do us good to talk," he said.
I bit my lip. "That's true. But I promised my roommates that I would spend the evening with them. We're having dinner and then going clubbing, and I don't want to blow them off. But you can come with us," I blurted.
He worked up a sad smile. "I don't go clubbing, Riley."
Right. I didn't want to turn him down, and yet I didn't want to disappoint my friends either.
"We'll have dinner another time," he went on.
“Thanks. I’m going to see if Jeremy needs help finding his pillow.”
"Sure."
Just then the doorbell rang, and Duncan went to open it. His mother stepped in. "Hi, Riley. How's everyone treating you?"
"Great. Things are good. Jeremy is so excited for his sleepover at your place."