Page 87 of Space Cowgirl: Houston, All Systems Go
“You do,” Skylar says, nodding. “And what’s even better, your team trusts you. They know you’re a straight shooter and that you lay it all out.”
“Only that kind of trust and openness can allow you to lead a bunch of men and women already used to being leaders themselves.”
Each compliment and reassurance burns that spot on my chest. Because I used to be like that. I used to lay it all out, trust the team around me. But ever since that first perverted message, I’ve closed myself off from everyone. Staying isolated, keeping secrets, thinking I could protect myself, my career. And because I refused to trust anyone else to help me, that mistrust has now spilled over onto the people I love.
Jackie is going to be so hurt when she finds out I didn’t tell her about my stalker. Doc will prob hit me over the head with her clipboard, and Holt… I already did the damage there, didn’t I? I acted so affronted when he said he couldn’t trust me, but what reason did he have? I hadn’t been acting very trustworthy.
And now I expect a new crew of some of the smartest, bravest and most competent men and women, who regularly put their lives on the line in the quest to further space exploration, to trust me.
“Yes, sorry if I implied otherwise,” Em says, interrupting my thoughts. “It’s just that, as I said before, I really don’t like that woman. I didn’t like her when she worked in public relations and I don’t like her now that she has a journalist badge.”
That snaps me to attention. “Wait. Susan worked in PR? ForNASA?”
“Not for Nasa. For one of the contractors.” She makes a face. “Completely incompetent the few times we crossed paths.”
“That’s right.” Joe nods a few times. “I think I remember her. I was a trainer on one of their missions.” He looks around the room. “Wasn’t she dating one of the crew members?”
Everyone stops.
“Who?” My voice cracks across the room.
Joe thinks about it a sec, then snaps his fingers. “Whipple.”
Skylar laughs. “You mean that guy who made everyone call him Chip? We grounded his ass for untethering. Had to reschedule all the upcoming missions.”
Luke smirks at me. “And, if I’m not mistaken, I think you actually owe Whipple your newfound hero status.”
Goosebumps spread down my arms. “What do you mean?” But I think I know, if this sinking feeling in my stomach is any indication.
“If he hadn’t been an idiot and gotten himself grounded, he would’ve been on the mission where you had to hotwire the station. And knowing his ego, he would’ve insisted on going out to save the day and been touted as the nation’s favorite astronaut.” Luke laughs. “But somehow NASA’s Whipple doesn’t have the same effect as NASA’s Starr.”
Slowly, pieces fall into place. Holy fucking shit.
“Uh, guys.” All eyes turn to me. “I need to come clean about something.”
* * *
HOLT
“There’s the moron.”
I pause from my work, having to wipe the sweat out of my eyes in order to see Rose’s glare from atop of Bess. The sun is getting ready to set, but it’s still hot. All day I’ve worked outside, without so much as whisper of a breeze, not even in the north fields.
Rose dismounts and hobbles Bess as I bend back down, grasping another hay bale.
“What are you doing here?” I lift, the pain in my back nothing compared to the one in my chest the past two days.
“Delivering flowers to a cow.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope.” She pats Bess’s flank. “Not long after Trish got a call from Jules asking if she could stay at the trailer while Trish was with me in the city, I got one to be her new cow owner errand girl.”
“Nice.” I don’t mention that it isn’t needed, as I’ve been spoiling that damn cow rotten. It’s like all my guilt after seeing how much time and effort and care Jules put into my house has spilled over into taking care of Jules’ farm animal pet.
Swinging the bale up into my truck bed, I wince. Every minute not spent with Cookie, I’ve spent in the fields. My whole body’s sore. I deserve it.
It takes a minute for my brain to catch up. “Why is Jules staying at Trish’s place and not her own?”
