Page 49 of Space Oddities

“Yes.” Rose glances at each of us in turn. “Please tell me you’ve all been with someone with an upward bend.” She eyes each of us. “Totally game changing.” She shivers as if just the memory brings on an aftershock.

Jackie clears her throat. “Just to clarify, we are talking about the penis, correct?”

“Yes, Jackie,” Jules says with a smirk. “The penis.”

Jackie ponders this.

“I swear to God, girl,” Rose starts, waving her empty glass in the air at our waitress. “If you bring a protractor into bed with my brother and I have to hear about it, I will never forgive you.”

Jackie blushes, which is as good as admitting that the thought of checking the angle of Flynn’s penis has just crossed her genius mind.

“Don’t get plastered, Meth-head Barbie.” Jules glares at Rose’s empty glass, still in the air. “We need to go downtown and get fitted in our dresses.” Much to no one’s surprise, Rose had not changed after pole dancing class. Shedidlook like my lone childhood Barbie. The one in the blue jazzercise outfit with pink leg warmers. Except Rose’s made-up face is slightly melted, and her hair looks like a tumbleweed that’s blown through a Pride parade.

Rose rolls her raccoon eyes but lowers her glass. “Anyhoo.” Glitter rains down into her breakfast tacos as she tosses her hair back to once more hit me with her laser gaze. “Ian?”

“What about Ian?” I stall. It’s fine if they know I’m a stripper. I’m okay if they figure out I’m a romance writer. But I donotwant to tell them I’m parked in Ian’s garage because I’m running from the law. Some things you just can’t gloss over with champagne. Or vodka.

“Cut the crap.” Rose leans forward, her boobs threatening to pop out of the spandex scoop neck. I can see the top edge of her phone. “Are you getting a good dicking or not?”

Jackie coughs on her iced tea. Jules slaps her on the back and raises one curious eyebrow at me.

I pick up my fluted glass, pinky out. “A lady never kisses and tells.”

“Lady?” Rose pulls out her cellphone from her cleavage. “Girl, with the way you work that pole, I’ll never call you a lady again.” She scrolls through her phone, then turns it toward Jules and Jackie.

“You took pictures?” My voice cracks on the last word like a thirteen-year-old boy.

“Better.” She taps a button and Def Leopard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” starts playing. “I took video.”

“Whoa.” Jules sits up, leaning toward Rose’s outstretched phone. “Shortstack can shake her money maker. I didnotsee that coming.” She sticks her fist out across the table for me to bump. “Nice.”

Shocked, I bump it.

After the video plays for the third time, I finally snatch the phone out of Rose’s hand and delete the video.

“So you gonna tell these two what prompted your move to Ian’s place?” Jules asks, dipping a fry into barbecue sauce. She’d forgone an entree and ordered a plethora of appetizers and dipping sauces.

“Yes. Do tell.” Rose wedges her phone back between her boobs.

Jackie looks down at her own, probably trying to calculate if her boobs could hold a smart phone.

I settle for a half truth. “He needed me to go to a fundraiser with him, and in return he said I could park my trailer in his garage to save on rent.”

“That seems a bit excessive.” Using her index finger, Jackie pushes her glasses back in place. “You can park it at our house if money is tight. Flynn won’t mind.”

“Or, you know, just ask your bff billionaire friend for some help.” Rose gives me her best “duh” face.

“But why aren’t you working at Big Texas if you need money?” Leave it to Jackie to find all the holes in my story.

Dang it. “Actually, the uh, truth is…” I twist my cocktail napkin until it shreds.

Jules sits back, watching me squirm. She hasn’t called me out on anything, but it’s clear she’s enjoying my struggle to answer.

“We are, um, kind of seeing each other?” I finish lamely. I mean, it isn’t a complete lie. We do see each other every day.

“Like sleeping together seeing each other?” Rose cocks a brow at me.

Hoping if I concede on this point, Rose and Jackie will stop asking other, more revealing questions, I nod.

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