Page 85 of Space Balls: Houston, We Have Liftoff
“I see.” Not only is he derailing my pre-planned speech, but he just confirmed that he had indeed been ghosting me and not just giving me the space I asked for.
Whelp. That feels awesome.
“I should’ve responded to your texts.” His chin dips toward his chest. “That was a dick move on my part.”
His choice of words has my lips breaking into a small smile.
We sit like this for a beat, the hum and buzz of the café picking up as the lunch crowd filters in.
It’s nice sitting here, holding hands, occupying the same space. But it isn’t why I agreed to meet him today.
“Vance, I—”
“I don’t want this to end when I fly up to the Space Station.” His words rush together, his hands tightening on mine.
It takes a second for my brain to register what he said. “You don’t?” Hope rears its fickle head.
“No, I don’t.” His eye crinkles deepen, and my heart quickens. “You and me, we’re good, right?” His thumb sweeps back and forth on the back of my hand.
Babump. Babump. Not only is my heart beating faster, but it’s also louder, hope making it want to burst from my chest. For the past three days I prepared myself for disappointment and awkwardness. I steeled myself for what I’d decided was inevitable—being left.
But maybe my worst-case scenario won’t happen. Maybe he won’t think my news is bad. Maybe he’ll have room for me and the baby in his future. Maybe he loves me too.
But it’s all the maybes that have me wary of showing just how hopeful I am.
“I think so.” My words are slow.
“From the start, we’ve understood each other.” Vance shifts forward in his seat. “And I hope you’d like to continue it.”
I fight to swallow back my emotions. I want to say yes.Hellyes. I wantallthe things to continue. The family holidays, the glitter projects, the late-night talks, and the cuddles. I want it all.
But it isn’t just me on the line anymore.
I need to be clear. I put my free hand over my stomach.Weneed to be clear.
Squeezing the hands still holding mine, I take a deep breath. “You want to keep being together?” I can’t help my growing smile.
“Yes.”
My heart is out of control, as is the smile on my face. “Like in a regular, serious relationship?”
His smile wavers. “Well, sort of.”
It’s like the air has been sucked from my lungs. I try to pull my hand back.
“Don’t get me wrong.” Vance’s hands tighten on mine. “I really do want to be together. But I think maybe, well, haven’t we blurred the lines lately?” He laughs, sounding stiff.
I’m frozen in my seat.
When I don’t say anything, he continues, “Thanksgiving was fun, but part of my thinking this week was that maybe Christmas isn’t such a good idea.”
I swallow.
“That day at NASA, I think you were right when you said friends with benefits don’t do holiday stuff.”
I could kick myself.
“Holidays aren’t casual.”
