Page 99 of Space Balls: Houston, We Have Liftoff
“It’s not his fault.” Rose surprises me by coming to my rescue. “Not really.” Not even the glitter and disco lights can mask Rose’s pain. “We just feel differently is all.”
“No we don’t.” My voice is firm, echoing around the empty club.
Rose startles, facing me. “We don’t?”
“We don’t.” I stride to the stage steps and bound up them, not stopping until Rose is just inches away, her sky-high-heeled boots bringing her eyes level with mine. “I love you.” I’ve never heard a ‘ring of truth’ until now. It gives me confidence that I can make this right. Make Rose and me work. Forreal.
But I have to be honest. Ihave tomake sure she understands the risks.
“You do?” The wonder in her eyes brings me so much satisfaction that I call myself ten times more an asshole for not discerning my feelings earlier. She tilts her head back, her gaze now skeptical. “Since when?”
“Maybe since I caught you getting drunk on bridal champagne at Jackie’s wedding.”
Rose snorts.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Myra nudge Angela with her foot. “This is getting good.”
I hold Rose’s gaze. “Probably when you dared me to take Blow Jobs at the bar.”
“What now?” Myra asks.
Angela waves her to be quiet.
Rose bites her lip, holding back a smile.
“And definitely when you bribed a butcher for a Thanksgiving turkey when my sister failed to defrost hers.”
“Iknewit,” my mother mutters behind me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it as fast as you.” I let my gaze meander over every inch of her, noting the chunky snowflake glitter in her hair and the peek of a cash roll between her breasts. “Because I do love you.”
Myra sighs. “This is just like when my second husband proposed.”
Angela covers Myra’s mouth with her hand.
Rose reaches out a shaking hand to me but retreats before I can grab hold. “But you don’t want kids.”
Mom gasps.
Ignoring what I know without even looking is my mother’s wounded expression of betrayal, I close the distance between Rose and me, holding her in my arms. “I know I said that, and I’m sorry.” Unable to hold back longer, I kiss her forehead, inhaling her sweet scent and praying I can find the right words. “I was wrong to spring all that on you like that. I must be going senile in my old age.”
Myra scoffs, and I lean back to catch Rose’s eyes. Fingers crossed she’ll mirror my smile.
She does.
Until she doesn’t.
Rose’s eyes narrow. “So… you’renotgetting a vasectomy then?”
“Vasectomy!”
I hunch my shoulders in preparation for the attack my mother wants to launch, but thankfully it doesn’t come.
“I’m going to cancel it.” My thumbs sweep across her shoulders, the feel of her skin calming me.
“You want kids then?” She’s speaking in the same slow, careful way that a police officer would to someone on a ledge. Which may sound dramatic, but me imagining even the possibility of children feels pretty on par with jumping off a building.
Breathing deeply, I prepare myself for what I’m praying will be enough for her. “Maybe.”
