Page 105 of Anyone But the Superstar
‘Hey.’ Squinting against the bright, but not sweltering, California sun, my eyes ping-pong between Jack, his arms resting on the roof of his Tesla, and Amanda, her hands clasped in front of her, her fingers twisting together.
About to call Elizabeth again, I click my phone off and slide it into my pocket. Elizabeth isn’t answering her phone. Or more than likely, doesn’twantto answer her phone. I’ve been trying to call her ever since I landed in California the day after talking to my mother.
‘What’s going on?’ I might be running a few minutes late tomy 8a.m. set call time, thanks to another restless night of me replaying and regretting all the things I said to Elizabeth and then berating myself for regretting them, but Jack’s never worried about my timetable before. And he’sneverbrought someone to my place without asking.
‘Get in.’ Pushing off the roof, Jack opens the driver side door and slides behind the wheel.
Wondering what the hell is going on, I don’t immediately move.
It isn’t until Amanda slides into the back seat that I open the passenger side door.
‘Tell him.’ Jack clicks the gate remote clipped to his sun visor and guns the Tesla.
I brace my hand on the door, the electric car’s pick-up always surprising. ‘Tell me what?’
Jack’s eyes flick to his rearview mirror.
Shifting in my seat, I turn to Amanda, who is looking anywhere but at me.
Her hands, clasped in her lap, turn white. ‘I’m the one who took the picture of you and Anne kissing and sent it to Camilla.’
The car jerks to a hard stop, Jack checking the road for traffic before pulling out.
I barely notice the whiplash. ‘What?’
‘Camilla…’ She meets my eyes for a moment before dropping them again.
My gut churns. ‘Don’t tell me she’s blackmailing you too?’
Amanda nods. ‘My girlfriend is an old sorority sister of hers from college.’
I cut my eyes to Jack, but from his non-surprise, I take it he already knew that Hollywood’s romcom queen is dating a woman.
‘She showed up at my girlfriend’s house one day and we…’ Amanda sighs. ‘She seemed totally nonplussed at first. But then when I startedCountdown, Camilla contacted me and said if I didn’t keep tabs on you while you were in Houston, she’d go to the press.’
‘So what?’ My voice rough. ‘You didn’t want anyone to find out that you’re gay, so you took a picture of me and—’ I stop myself from continuing, unsure who I’m really angry at.
Amanda? Camilla? Myself?
I’mthe one who blamed Elizabeth for the picture. Even when her taking or spreading the photo didn’t make sense. She lied about her name, and without listening to her reasons, I believed the worst.
‘I’m so sorry.’ Amanda drops her head in her hands. ‘I’ve actually been wanting to come out, even before Camilla found out. I’m tired of the hiding and the secrets.’ She lets out a small, hysterical laugh. ‘I even went so far as to guilt trip my girlfriend, bullying her into coming out with me. Telling her that if she really loved me, she’d do it.’ She raises her head, a haunting look on her face. ‘But then, when Camilla blackmailed me, I realized how selfish I’d been. That if you love someone, you don’t force them to do things they aren’t ready for.’
My chest aches thinking of how I did the same thing to Elizabeth. All because she wouldn’t open up to me in the way I wanted her to, and because of that, I questioned her feelings and ignored my own.
Ron’s directorial guidance on set at the Neutral Buoyance Lab was spot on. But for me, rather than my character. I chose fear, not love.
Reaching back between the two front seats, I take hold of Amanda’s hand and squeeze. I don’t say it will be all right, or that I forgive her. But I do understand all too well what she’s feeling.
She returns my squeeze, using her other hand to brush tearsfrom her eyes. ‘I promise I was going to tell you even without Elizabeth sending me the security footage.’
I drop her hand. ‘Wait, what?’
‘It came this morning,’ Jack says, weaving in and out of traffic.
‘Elizabeth caught me out.’ Amanda shakes her head, a weak smile on her lips. ‘And instead of taking the security footage of me with a camera on set to the studio or telling the papers, she sent it to Jack and asked him to talk to me about it. Said that she believed I was a good person and that I must’ve had my reasons.’
‘And I did.’ Jack’s eyes meet mine for a brief moment before returning to the road. ‘I drove her straight here afterwards.’
